Regret

Yesterday my friend sent me a message on facebook entitled "Regret". When I clicked on it, I had no idea what she could have been talking about. Her message said that she wished we could go back and redo high school over again. Knowing what we know now. Now we know that we shouldn't have wasted time on guys who are now completely out of the picture. Now we know that drama is stupid and a waste of too many emotions and too much time. Now we know that focusing on school is important, but friends are even more important. The relationships I made with people in high school are what I remember most-not the grades I got on all my Pratt tests (though maybe I forgot those on purpose...).

This friend and I were both in relationships for our junior and senior years of high school. We thought that though there was drama with that, it was inevitable. What we completely missed was the fact that without those guys in our lives, it would have been much easier. We would have had closer friendships and better grades. We would have had more time to spend on doing things that we love, and getting to know new people. But instead we rushed to do our homework so we could wait by the phone for an hour long phone call at night. I'm not saying that we neglected friends altogether, we just spent less time with them than we could have. Looking back, this was not the way to live. Oh, we were happy. But we weren't thriving. We could have become a lot closer to each other and other people, and had much better relationships with God, if we had been single. When you put so much of yourself into things like boyfriends, you have so little left over for the other things. I wish I had spent more time writing. I wish I had gotten to know more people. I wish I had done so many things. Instead, I chose to spend my time investing myself into one person, while forgetting all the friends that had gotten me through some of life's toughest moments. That time spent with him I will never get back.

Something else I learned-there is NOTHING like family. I put my family aside and basically put everything else before it. That was a huge mistake. Now that I'm away from my family, I miss them like none other. I am actually looking forward to the day when I'm back home in bed, awake (and annoyed!) before 8 am because of my brother's loudness. I can't wait to be back to doing laundry and cleaning my bathroom and vacuuming on Saturdays. That's the life I love. Nothing else matters when you're with family.

Now we know all these things. So we (my friend and I) decided that since we can't change what happened in high school, we can make sure we won't feel the same way about college. I'm not saying I won't have a boyfriend at all (though who knows-I may not). I'm merely saying that I have to balance my time and energy between things that truly matter. I need to get to know more people. I need to spend time with my family. I even need to spend more time studying. Most importantly, I need to be getting to know my God. If I do those things, no matter what else happens, I won't look back at college in the same way I do high school.

Queen Latifah summed this up when she said,
"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences."

Laura (who I've been talking about) and me.

(It was Retro Day of Spirit Week, sophomore year)
(this was before we had boyfriends...those were the days!)

P.S. This is not to say that I completely regret dating. I have learned so much looking back on it and I know God's used it to teach me so many things about myself and the way I am so flippant with some of the things in my life. He used that to break me and mold me closer to the person He wants me to be. So, I am grateful for all of the things I've learned, I just wish I had been wiser.