Father's Day

Whew! It's been a while since I have written in my blog! Sorry if I have kept all my avid readers (ha) waiting for a while! So much has changed. I have seen God work in my life and provided for me in many diverse ways. He has shown Himself good and faithful over and over again to me in just the few weeks since I have last written. But that is not what I want to say.

Today is Father's Day!! (The 9 minutes left of it, anyway) I have come to realize how blessed I am. I have not only a wonderful dad, but also a wonderful step dad. And even better, I have an amazing heavenly Father, too! That said, I want to focus on my dad for a little bit. He is such an awesome man who loves the Lord first and his family second. I know we have not always gotten along and that I have not always seen his point of view, but ever since my senior year of high school and on I have begun to understand him (and my mom and step mom and step dad..and all parents in general!) more and more.

I am so grateful for his wisdom and his knowledge of God's word. Every time I have a question I know that I can go to him for the answers. This past year, my first year of being away at college, I have confided in him more than ever. He always has the right thing to say-it doesn't always make me feel better right away, but it makes me act better. Then later I understand where he is coming from. Some things he's said shocked me, but after I see God's plans unfold in those areas, I have seen that he is way smarter than me, or at least more experienced. It has always been humorous to me when my friends have scoffed at their parents' advice, thinking that they could not possibly understand. The thing is, they do. I have seen that my dad knows more about me than I do. He definitely gives me amazing advice, whether it be about school, dating, a career, or anything.

One of my favorite things about my dad is his love of God's word. That love has become apparent to me. And very helpful. Whenever I have a question about God or things that the Bible says, my dad is the first person I go to for help. He always has an answer, and if he doesn't, he will find out and tell me when he finds out. I really do appreciate it so much as I study the word, especially at school.
I am unable to express how much my dad, and all of my parents, means to me. I will forever be grateful for all of the lessons he has taught me; all of the times he's let me cry on his shoulder; all of the phone calls that begin with me crying, stressed over one thing or another, and end with me feeling so much better; all of the sacrifices he has happily made for me. He is truly a good example of what a godly man looks like.

I love my daddy so much1

Here is my dad with Sarah and Holly and me at Holly's graduation

A Song That's Been Stuck in My Head for DAYS

Monday morning I was reading in Psalms and I came across some verses that seemed very familiar to me. It was Psalm 62:1-2-"My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." I realized why it was familiar-it was part of a song I had sung both in chapel and at church this past year. It has been stuck in my head ever since then, not that I am complaining. Sometimes it's the most annoying thing in the world to have a song stuck in your head (i.e. 1,2,3,4 by Plain White T's. that was BAD) for several days. But this time, I got lucky. I'll post the words so you can see why I like them:

My Soul Finds Rest Psalm 62
by Aaron Keyes and Stuart Townend

My soul finds rest in God alone,
My Rock and my salvation,
A fortress strong against my foes,
And I will not be shaken.
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse,
And lies like arrows pierce me,
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness,
I’ll look to Him who hears me.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

Find rest, my soul, in God alone
Amid the world’s temptations;
When evil seeks to take a hold
I’ll cling to my salvation.
Though riches come and riches go,
Don’t set your heart upon them;
The fields of hope in which I sow
Are harvested in heaven.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

I’ll set my gaze on God alone,
And trust in Him completely;
With every day pour out my soul,
And He will prove His mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath,
A sigh too brief to measure,
My King has crushed the curse of death
And I am His forever.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

O praise Him, O praise Him, hallelujah, hallelujah,
O praise Him, O praise Him, hallelujah, hallelujah,
O praise Him, O praise Him, hallelujah! hallelujah!

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.




This is a great song! Each verse is rich and such an encouragement. In some songs we sing it seems like some of the words are just fillers, and then some lines are meaningful. But this is one of those songs where that is not the case-each line is so full! I love songs like that!!


An update on my summer: it's been going well! I have seen my best friend Sam, spent some time with Laura (including two trips to the lake!), saw Lindsay and Zach, and done some other fun things :). Most of my days I am home alone since my dad is at work and Kathy and Riley are still in school. I am becoming restless and bored with the few things that I have to do. It's not fun sometimes. A lot of my friends are still in school, but finishing up this week. Then it will be better! I leave for Santa Clarita with Lindsay around June 1 and fly out to Maine on June 4. Then it will be a week of lots&lots of family, including seeing my newest cousin Griffin (sp?), and then Holly GRADUATES! Crazy.

Well I hope this song is an encouragement to you like it is to me! Have a great day :)

Fear

Galatians 1:10-"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ." (NASB)

I constantly find myself in need of this verse. So many times, just in 2010, I have been shown my fear of man. It has become evident especially in the last couple months of the semester. I have seen over and over again how much I care about what people think. In some ways, I really do not care. But there are some things that I constantly struggle with when it comes to fear of man. I shared with my small group (which consisted of my RA Lynsi, friend Kayla, and myself) how God has really been working in that area of my life. My friend Christian and I are praying about what God would have us do, and it looks like we will become more than "just friends" soon. This has opened my eyes to a whole new area of my life where I see a fear of man. Who am I trying to please? My friends, his friends, people we do not even know? What would the point of that be? If we try to please people, we will fail, because not everyone will be pleased by the same things. When we try to please God, no one else, or their opinion, matters.

Steve Lawson, when he came as a chapel speaker to my school, summed it up better than I ever could have. He said, "If you please Christ, it doesn't matter who you displease. If you displease Christ, it doesn't matter who you please."

I wonder...do I spend half the time I spend thinking about/trying to please men, trying to please God? If I spent that much time trying to please God and forgetting about pleasing men, how different would my life be?

School's OVER

I can finally say that my first year of college is complete! And what a year it has been! I don't want to spend all night talking about every single thing that happened this past year. There has just been too much! If you ever want to know, ask me about it in person. This year has been full of difficult things and many challenges where I had the choice to either do things my way or do things God's way. I made many right decisions and many mistakes. Thankfully God is still using me, no matter how many times I mess up!

When I left for school, I was ready for change. I was still trying to mend my broken heart, nervous about meeting a person that I would be living in a small room with for a whole school year, anxious about making friends, sad to leave my friends and family at home, eager to see what college would be like and really excited to see how God would work in my life. My heart healed itself once I found that God was all-sufficient and that I did not need someone (who had really just gotten in the way of my relationship with God-for that I blame myself, not him) else to make me happy. I LOVED my roommate and we are planning on rooming together next year. I made TONS of friends who love God and encourage me to walk close with Him. I did miss home alot, but often I was too busy to think about it. College was amazing-classes were awesome, chapel-the music and the messages-were amazing, and dorm life is always fun (except when you can't find anywhere to be alone). God worked in my life in so many, many ways. I learned from classes, chapel, my church, my college group, small group, my RA, my friends, my devotions...I could go on and on. Basically, I have learned alot and I have seen God refining me and making me more like Him. I learned that more important than Christ-likeness is my love for Him. Out of the overflow of my love for Him will come obedience and imitation. I learned that even something as good as my own sancification can become an idol if it takes away from my first love.

When I came home after the end of the school year, I came home a completely different person. I came back loving God more than ever before, loving people more than ever, with a desire to love and serve my family, missing my new family that I found through my friends and in my dorm, and ready to see what God would do in my life this summer. I am eager to see what He wants to do in regards to a special friend of mine :)...more about that to come. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness to God. Pslam 40:2-"He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps." God took me out of that pit the psalmist was talking about and put me in a safe place. In Him alone I am secure. I have learned that over and over again (often the hard way) this year. I have learned that though I may fail a thousand times, He is patient and will never give up on me. He is working in my heart big time.

Going to The Master's College is a huge priveledge. I loved everything about it! I loved the chapels, the values and beliefs held there, the professors, the classes, the dorms, the staff...everything! Honestly, I am so blessed to be able to go there. It's funny how God can bring so many completely different people from all over the world together and make it so that each person there is encouraged by and an encouragement to others around them. He is sovereign over every person that attends each school. It's interesting to see that even the people He decided to place on my wing made a huge impact on me. To sum it all up...I am so grateful to God for providing the way for me to go to Master's. My time spent there was so worth any stress or sacrifice it took to get me there or allow me to stay there.

Well, I am done for tonight but I know that there is tons more for me to say. I may write out more in my blog, but I may not. But I love talking about what God's been doing in my life, so if you want to know more, just ask me! Good night

Hold me, break me, mold me and make me

Stir In Me

Stir in me a fire that the world cannot explain

I come to worship You.

Stir in me a passion that my heart cannot contain

I come to worship You.

Hold me, break me, mold me and make me more and more like You

I come to worship You

To love You, fear You, draw ever near You as I worship You

I come to worship You, oh Lord

This is a song that I love. The first part is all about wanting a fiery passion for the Lord in our lives. This is so necessary to endure the hardships and trials that come through the Christian life. I want a love for Him that is so evident in everything I do and say. I wish that people would not know me for anything except for my love for God. I want a passion for Him that my heart cannot contain. Then the second part talks about wanting to be made more in the image of Christ, and into the person that He wants us to become. It talks about how part of our walk as Christians is about us-loving God, fearing Him, and drawing near to Him. Just like other relationships, we need to put time and effort into our walk with God.

This song has been on my mind alot lately. The part that says, "...break me, mold me and make me more and more like You..." is a tough thing to pray. God will break us, and often when he makes us more like Him it is when He is refining us. As I think I've said before, refining is a process where gold is put into the fire. When God refines us, He puts us through the fire-it burns. But then, He is able to make us into who He wants us to be. The end result is always worth it (God does know what He's doing, after all), but it's often a difficult process. I often sing this song or pray in this way, but sometimes I wonder how much I really mean it.

Life lately has been extremely interesting. Some things are going on in my life that are fun and very exciting, but scary at the same time. I wonder what the Lord is doing, but I know He has a plan for my life. I have been really worried about messing things up, but as two of my older and wiser wingmates, Lynsi (my RA) and Lydia (her roommate), have said to me, if I am actively pursuing Christ, and God's will for my life, He will not let me stray to far. He loves me to much to do that. When we seek Him, we will always find Him. How amazing to think about that! Those two are such godly examples of what I would like to be. They have given me such great advice, especially in a particular area. I love them and am so sad they are graduating!

Life lately has been great! This past weekend was really fun-our formal(ish) event, Spring Party, was on Friday night. It took place at Castle Green, and it was beautiful. So many funny memories from that night! Then Saturday, my friend Christian and I went to Zuma in Malibu and my friend Bear (Daniel) from my school (since first grade!) came and the three of us spent the day in the sand and the sun. It was such a great time! It was really nice to just lay out and relax, and also nice to see Bear again!

Here's some pictures from the weekend :)

Me with Christian, my date for Spring Party

Lynsi, my faithful friend and RA

Alyssa, friends for who even knows how long. I can talk to her about anything!

Courtney..we never fight!

Hard to tell...but we saw several dolphins swimming while at the beach

I got TONS of sand in my hair from my dunking in the ocean