Still in love after a year

About a year ago (actually, almost exactly a year ago), my mom (it's always our moms who know what's best for us!) introduced me to someone who has become very important to me. No, it's not a person. What am I talking about? Clinique's 3-Step ingeniously miraculous facial system (I made up the title because all they call it is 3-Step...but that's boring and isn't descriptive enough in my humble opinion).

From day one, I kid you not, my face felt different. It has both immediate and lasting effects. On days that I get lazy and don't use it, there's a noticeable difference. This past yeary skin has been clearer and has felt softer than ever. After a year, I still get excited to use it. Why? Because it works. I have never had terrible skin but the difference is still night and day.

They have different choices for different skin types but here is what I use:

Step 1:

Facial Soap (bar or liquid; and different soaps for different skin types)

Step 2:

Clarifying Lotion (1 or 2, pictured is #2; again caters to different skin types)

Step 3:

Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion (different ones for different skin types; also comes in gel form).

As I said before, I have never had terrible skin (though I did and still sometimes do breakout, it's not like my skin is perfect), so I've never been picky about what I washed it with. Until this came into my life. Now I'm kind of a Clinique 3-Step ingeniously miraculous facial system snob. I tell everyone who will listen about it. Anytime people ask about what face cleansers people use (which is semi-frequently, as I live in a dorm), I pipe up. A few weeks ago there may have been a slight incident in the shower where I accidentally dropped the remnants of my bar of soap...and yeah...since I live in a dorm, once it's on the floor, I'll use it no more (new mantra!). So for a little bit I was without just the first step (but still used the other two)...and just that made my face feel and look different. I'm back to using it though and it's just great! I'm telling you..you gotta try this stuff! It's worked well for me, and I know my mom and one or two (or three?) of my sisters have used it for years. The only downside is the price...it's a little bit expensive. But honestly, if you're going to splurge somewhere, your skin is the place to do it! Plus, it lasts for a long time! So it's not really that extravagant when you think about it. Just trust me...if you're looking for a new face cleanser to try out...go with this system! You'll (probably) love it.

To do over break:

Read this book (and others like it):

Can I just say how much I love my major?

Quite a bit, actually.

I'm so blessed.

:)

Overview of the Semester

Well, the semester is not quite over yet, but with finals this upcoming week, I figured it's now an ok time to sum up the last few months of my life. If you have followed this blog or my other one you will know that it's had its share of ups and downs. Overall, I have learned so much about pain and about the goodness of the Lord. He will not allow us to suffer unless it is to make us love Him more, and to make us better. He is so good, and so worthy of trust. In Him we have NO NEED to fear - He is the sovereign Creator and Sustainer of the universe - don't you think He is able to take care of you, too? I figured, rather than telling everything that has happened this past semester, I'd post a few pictures that gives you a (mostly) chronological look into what I've been up to.

 Laurel and I in Santa Monica at the very beginning of the semester

(before she left for Israel).

I've miss her so much, but she'll be back TOMORROW.

Me, Sammi, and Cate at Sammi and Adam's rehearsal dinner. 

While the photographers were taking pics, Kevin got this on his iPhone. 

Incredible shot. 

Reception fun!

 Santa Clarita has amazing sunsets...I have taken so many

(read: too many) pics, so I had to choose just one.

Outreach Week in Santa Cruz...had a great team!

Laura, Brittney, me, Grace, Britta.

I've loved spending time with this girl and her momma this semester.

Fun friends at Jordan's last high school football game.

Aroma Cafe with Katie and Meredith (who is discipling both of us).

Such a good time with two amazing friends.

Fall Thing - first is with my date Michael, second is with (l-r) Sarah,

Becca, and Katie, third is with Amanda, and fourth is

with Sami and Ema, who are sisters and sweet wing mates.

Egg Plantation with two of the most incredible friends you could ever have - 

Lindsay and Kayla (who was visiting for the weekend)

I have the best Awana group...one of the little girls

(precious Ellyse) drew this for me on the night we had this sweet

conversation that made me melt:

Me: What are you all thankful for?

Ellyse: Umm..my mom, food, you....

How do you not just die after that? You really have to see her

and her intensity and seriousness to get just how cute it was.

Such a cute combo in a kindergartener.

 

Apple Hill with Kathy (step-mom), Riley (brother) and my

grandma. Unfortunately, my dad wasn't pictured because 

he was behind the lens.

Face masks with Sarah...sometimes you just need a break

from school to work on your complexion!

My sweet, sweet small group (minus Shannon).

These girls have been an incredible blessing and encouragement.

This was taken on our last time meeting this semester.

This picture was taken last night at our Foundation (college group)

Christmas Party. I was just pulling taffy from a marshmallow,

minding my own business, when Brittany decided to creep on me!

This last week I have spent at least part every day with her,

 Stephanie (who took the pic) and Bree (all of whom are

on my wing). We have had such hilarious times!

I'm so grateful for them!!

While this semester has been a tough one, the Lord has greatly blessed me by so many people, especially close girl friends and the lovely ladies on my wing. They have made me laugh innumerable times! I'm actually sad to see the semester coming to a close, because I won't be able to see these lovely girls for another month! But boy, am I excited for break, and Christmas!

Dear Blog,

For the next few days (weeks?) I may not be able to visit you or write very often, or for long periods of time. I have so many papers and other things to do that it's just not wise to spend much time writing for fun. But I am learning A LOT right now and will hopefully be able to write here and there, or at least sum everything up after finals with quotes from my journal and chapel/church notes. But until then, I must say in the words of everyone's favorite guy, Tigger, "ta ta for now". Please do not feel neglected, I am putting life into my days so that I can have MORE to blog about later. Maybe ;)

Some things I love lately.

 fall months <3 

so true.

argyle sweater...love the colors, too.

fall in maine

more fall in maine

red velvet

 

 lady antebellum <3 

snowflake peppermint bark..love it.

so cute, love the colors

he has the best quotes

 dream backyard. love the adirondack chair

so cute!

never was an Orlando fan..but I thought this was hilarious 

chocolate covered pretzels - Christmas style

love this bow and bun combo

Watch this video!! I found it on msn.com. I have no idea if this is common or not, but I thought it was super cool!
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/octopus-walks-on-land/1jr9kpy6i

God Be My Everything

Be Thou my vision oh Lord of my heart

Naught be all else to me save that Thou art

Thou my best thought by day or by night

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be Thou my wisdom and Thou my true word

I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son

Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise

Thou mine inheritance now and always

Thou and Thou only first in my heart

High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art

High King of heaven my victory won

May I reach heaven's joys, o bright heaven's Son

Heart of my own heart whatever befall

Still be my vision oh ruler of all.

O God be my everything, be my delight

Be Jesus, my glory, my soul satisfied

O God be my everything, be my delight

Be Jesus, my glory, my soul satisfied

Sometimes life is really tough. But even on the really hard days, God is good. He is so faithful to always be there for us in our time of need. Today I had the blessing of talking to two of my sisters and a couple really good friends, all who've given me great advice and been really helpful. He is just so kind to us, and shows us He cares even through our pain. Even when we respond sinfully, He still cares about our pain. Hardships refine us and make us more like Him, and make us love Him more. And for that, anything is worth it. It's not always a pleasant ride, but it's a worthwhile one. I'm thankful I serve such an awesome God.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen one

Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross

My sin upon HIs shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom.

Quick Update

• Home was such a sweet blessing this past weekend. Leaving was so sad.
• This week has been semi-insane with homework, classes, projects, babysitting, studying, Awana, etc. But I've been loving all of it. God has totally revived my passion for teaching, and has given me the ability to enjoy the massive amounts of work I have to do (for the most part. I don't always love it, especially on those late nights). 
• Today I received a care package from my home church in the mail...such an encouragement.
• I have such amazing relationships here. I have friends who I can have fun with, but who also point me to Christ, whether we're having fun or having a bad day. 
• I'm learning so much in so many of my classes. We finished the book of Genesis in my OT survey class...man, was I missing so much all these years.
• I'm really looking forward to Fall Thing. It's going to be so great and so fun, I think.
• I'm so thankful to be at TMC. Sometimes it still blows my mind that I am blessed enough to be here. 
• My awana kids are so cute and so fun, and though they can be a little wild (ok, very wild!!), they also really do want to learn, and it's so cool to see that.
• Having my journal again has been great!! I love being able to write my thoughts/responses as I read my Bible, and it's nice to go back and look through what I've been learning the past few days. [Also, Romans is awesome.]

All of these have been such sweet blessings from the Lord. To say I'm content with life is an understatement.

Also, Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade is on replay. The piano...gorgeous.
And...cracked pepper & olive oil Triscuits...simply amazing. Try them.

More Small Blessings :)

-Being able to read through my journal and reflect on what I've previously learned.
-Being able to journal my devotions again. And other stuff too. (Can you tell I really missed it?!)
-Vacuuming at home. Call me crazy but there are some chores I love (don't tell my parents).
-Free laundry. Don't get me wrong, I always love laundry (top on my list of fave chores)...there's something so peaceful and productive about it. Plus it smells fantastic after! But when it's free...oh man. Makes me giddy.
-Meals with my family.
-Watching part of The Parent Trap - the old one, with Hayley Mills - with my brother.
-Quick nap (again, in my own bed).
-Cleaning/organizing my room.
-Being able to bring more back to school.
-Working on my Genesis synthesis paper while watching my brother's baseball game (he plays in the spring and fall). Also, baseball games under the lights are fun. During his last at bat, I decided to try to get a picture of him. I captured the perfect moment - him hitting a triple! So that was super exciting.
-Homemade cornbread and chili. Mmm.
-Brownies + ice cream.
-Doing homework in my room/in the living room...aka not the library or a cramped dorm room (though I don't mind those. It's just a nice change).
-Watching Get Smart with my family and listening to Riley laughing his guts out.
-More family time.

I just love being home. Especially in the fall. It's so wonderful having a short little break from school, as much as I love it.

Tomorrow: worshiping with my home church of 16 years.
I am so blessed.

It's The Simple Things {Home Sweet Home}

-Easy, mostly traffic-free ride home
-Vanilla + caramel frosty at Wendy's
-Making posters for...
-Jordan's football game
-Cheering for/embarrassing him with at least 25 others, all there to support him
-Layering borrowed shirts (that I now get to wash for free)
-Eating nachos, kettle corn, and candy
-Meeting new people
-Seeing friends again
-Seeing friends who feel like family again
-Seeing my family again
-Having little Maxie (our miniature schnauzer that I pretend to dislike) not able to settle down when he sees me
-Catching the end of the Bourne Supremacy with my dad
-Sleeping in my own bed
-Flannel pj bottoms
-Waking up and it feeling like fall
-Having Maxie following me around
-Chocolate chip waffles for breakfast
-Apple juice
-Coming into the kitchen to see Kathy making brownies with Oreos in honor of my brief visit
-Banter with family
-Having my journal again (I've missed it so much in the last 6 weeks)
-Drinking coffee (yes, it's still me...I just needed caffeine) with my dad...French press I do believe
-Almost enjoying my coffee
-Hearing my family's plans for the next week and learning...It's true what they say - Life gets much busier after college
-Being with and enjoying my family
-Seeing again that there is more to life than just my education. I know that, but sometimes I get so short-sighted. This is what I'm preparing for...life after college. Right now what God has for me is a time of intense educational and spiritual equipping so that I may later do what God has for me elsewhere.

The best part? I've only been home for roughly 16 hours and I have about 26 or so left.
Thank you Lord for all of these sweet blessings, along with so much more I haven't mentioned.

I miss my girls.

Sometimes (okay, all the time) I hate the 3,000 miles that separate me from my family. 

(Well one of my families.)

So much happens all the time, in everyone's lives, and I'm missing it all.

All four of us girls are now in college, studying in three different states

[S&H in Maine, A in Connecticut, me in California).

Sometimes the distance just really gets me.

I hate being so far away from them, and from my brother (though he's thankfully closer).

I just get this overriding sense of guilt for choosing a school so far away from them.

But I know God has me exactly where He wants me right now.

I just miss my best friends.

Sarah, Holly, and Abby - you guys are the best sisters I could ever ask for.

I love you all and am so proud of all of you. I'm so thankful and blessed to be your sister.

xo from far away,

Larz

How Firm a Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word.
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

Fear not I am with thee, oh be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give the aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace all sufficient shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for reposed
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul though all hell should endeavor to shake
I'll never, no never, no never forsake.

Thank you Lord for this song - for the reminders in it, and the truths that they tell.

Waiting

Last night as I was walking up the hill to my beloved home-sweet-home, Cdub, I started to really think about some things. I was thinking about how hard it is to wait for things and how hard it is to not know exactly what God's will is in a particular situation. So often I say to myself, "If I just knew what God wanted in [insert situation], then I'd be content to wait for it to happen." Or I think, "I wish God would just hurry up and do something about this, that way I wouldn't have to wonder how/when it will happen."


Fortunately, God is not like that. Hold it...did I just say "fortunately" God doesn't do things the way I want them? How can that be true? Well, here's the thing. I'm a finite, insignificant person. God is the infinite, almighty Creator and Sustainer of the universe. Even if I'd like to know how something would turn out, deep down I always know that He knows what He's doing, and His way is best. It's the waiting for things that produces character. It's the not knowing that produces trust and reliance on Him. If He always told us what we asked Him to, or gave us what we wanted, when we wanted it, how would we ever depend on Him? We would depend on Him way less, if at all. I'm so grateful that He knows better than I do, and that His way is better than mine. I'm grateful for this forced dependence and trust, because if it weren't for this, I would totally try to be independent from Him.


Also, I think it's important to realize this: when the Bible talks about God's will, it's not how we talk about God's will. We always talk about it as being, what will my career be? where should I go to college? who should I marry? should I have kids and how many? etc. But I Thessalonians 4:3 says this, "For this is the will of God: your sanctification..." So rather than worrying about God's will in the big things, we just need to obey Him and trust Him in the little things. As we obey His commandments and read His word and continue to love Him more, what He wants becomes what we want, because we know He knows best. That's why I love the quote, "Love God and do what you want." Because if we're truly loving Him as we should, our desires will have become His. 


Here's two quotes that came to mind while thinking about this last night and this morning:

 ...the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done. - Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity

Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands. - Paul Tripp 

Christmas Excitement (A Little Early)

Listening to this right now. Can't wait for Christmas, just so it'll be acceptable to listen to this 24/7.

:)

Haha...oops

Well I'm a little embarrassed. I just found my charger. Whoops!! On my third look through my room, I started pulling things out of my old backpack, and lo and behold, third time's a charm. It was there. Well now you know the drama of the beginning of my day. Hope you've enjoyed, because I didn't.

Technology.

I hate it. All forms of it. I've had so many stupid computer problems and stupid camera problems. Today it's camera.

When I was a jr in high school, I bought my first camera. It lasted about a year before it just died.
My mom gave me a new, nicer camera for my graduation. It lasted a year and a half before I jumped into a deep sand hole and hit the camera on the sand, ruining it for good.
I got another new camera for Christmas last year, and it's perfect. It's the best camera I've had so far. I realized last weekend my battery was dying (as often happens with electronics). I went to recharge it and realized...I had my old (second) camera's charger with me, not the new one. I was like, "Well at least I'm going home next weekend and can find it there to recharge it before the wedding." Well I'm home, it's the day before the wedding, I've looked twice in my room, and it's nowhere to be found. I'm soo bummed. :(

I know there are more important things than having a camera charger, but my best friend is getting married today and I'd like more than just pics from my iPhone. Sad day :/ I'm also wondering if/when I'll ever find it. Ugh. Anyway, that's my camera saga. As you can see, technology and me, we just don't get along. (Ps. this is nothing compared to my computer saga...now that's a pathetic story).

God is GOOD

First week of fall semester is OVER!! Woohoo! It's been pretty good. I napped more than I care to admit, I visited Bekah in her office every day (sometimes multiple times per day), I finished I Corinthians and started II Corinthians (both amazing), I've met new people, loved my classes, and topped the week off with (of course) a trip to Santa Monica.

Let me tell you something: God's grace is amazing. He is so good. When we totally don't deserve it, He gives blessings- over and over. Things that I wanted to happen, happened. Even though I wasn't faithfully asking for them like I should've been. Like the song says, "If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." It's so true. He is so good. And so kind to His people. Last night ended on a bit of a rough note, and I got back to school to find my roommate sleeping. I knew what I needed though, comfort from His word, so I brought my Bible out and sat in the hall. Just reading through Psalms I was reminded that He alone is where I find salvation and rest for my soul (chapter 62). His lovingkindness is better than life (63). He is the strength of my heart and my portion when my heart and flesh fail (73). His nearness is my good and He is my refuge (73). Even when Israel repeatedly fell into the same sins, despite His goodness to them, He: forgave their iniquity, did not destroy them, often restrained His anger, and did not arouse all His wrath (78). His lovingkindness holds me up when my foot slips, and He consoles me when anxious thoughts multiply (94). He gives us immense benefits, pardons our iniquities, heals our diseases, redeems our lives from the pit, crowns us with lovingkindness and compassion, satisfies our years with good things. He is also compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounds in lovingkindness. He doesn't deal with us according to our sins (so thankful for this). He removes our sins from us, as far as the east is from the west (103).

The Love of God

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell.
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell.
The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win.
His erring child, He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin.

Oh love of God, how rich and pure
How measureless and strong.
It shall forevermore endure-
The saints' and angels' song.


When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who hear refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call.
God's love so sure, shall still endure
The saints' and angels' song.


Oh love of God, how rich and pure
How measureless and strong.
It shall forevermore endure-
The saints' and angels' song.


Could we with ink the oceans fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky.


Oh love of God, how rich and pure
How measureless and strong.
It shall forevermore endure-
The saints' and angels' song.

Why does summer have to end? Suddenly I lost all desire to go back to school. I just want to stay home with my family and have good homecooked meals and desserts every night and free laundry and a pool I actually feel comfortable swimming in...Plus...I just love summer...so please....let these next few days DRAG by, because I'm not ready, like I thought I was.

Random Thoughts

Hello bloggy friends. I don't have much new stuff going on, but I have some random thoughts I decided to share, luckily for you.

-I'm listening to Glee's version of "I Can't Fight This Feeling". And I am reminded of how cool it was to be able to hear this song, live, by REO Speedwagon (the original artist)(if it's a band, is it still referred to as "artist", or "artists" since it's multiple people...there are some questions your MLA book just don't answer) at the fair. Yes, ladies and gents, I was paid to stand and listen to this song with my friend Lila. Of course, there was still work to do. But it was still fun obviously.

-The word "literally" is used, reused, misused, and abused. Poor little guy. You know what I'm talking about-we all do it. These days, everyone and their brother uses the word "literally" erroneously. "I have to go so bad I'm literally about to explode." "You literally make me want to shoot myself in the foot." "I literally can't go a day without chocolate." "She literally never stops talking" ...hello? That's impossible. It's completely common for people to use the word "literally" for an impossible occurrence. I wonder what the world would be like if all the things that "literally" would happen, would actually happen. Like, if people literally exploded if they couldn't relieve their bladder soon enough, or if people literally shot things in the foot when they became annoyed.

-Disney has had a blonde princess, a brunette princess, a red-headed princess, an Arabian princess, a Native American princess, an Asian princess, and a black princess. Maybe more. It's very diverse, which is pretty cool. Also, would you like to know what Disney taught me? Every princess has an amazing singing voice.

-If I marry a man who likes peas, it's going to be awkward. Because I hate them. They literally (used correctly!) make me gag. Or at least they used to. I never eat them. When I was little, my parents were always the "eat all your vegetables before you leave the table" type. Except when it came to me and peas. They eventually stopped trying, because I could not force those pesky guys down my throat. Now, if I'm in a situation where I'm served peas and it would be rude to not eat them (which surprisingly is kind of often), I swallow them. So if my husband likes them, I guess we'll be eating different vegetables. Or, just maybe, I'll learn that eating peas is part of being a well-adjusted human being, and suck it up and eat them.

-Two weeks ago I went to Santa Cruz/Monterey with the Stoevers. Long story short, I got a pretty bad sunburn. Last week, my back peeled, and then later my shoulders started to peel. Well this week, my legs started peeling. And I'm not just talking about my thighs. My shins/ankles peeled too. Nasty, right? You're welcome for that information.

-Also, funny story about Santa Cruz. During our beach day, towards the end, some people started to get restless so about half of the group (Lindsay, both of her parents, her brother Tyler, and her cousins Natalie and Abby) went for a walk. Some of us stayed though (I for one was much too lazy to get up and go for a walk). Well, I was enjoying some light beach reading (Think by John Piper...ok, so it was pretty heavy, but good stuff) and minding my own business. The others who stayed (Zach and Jordan, their aunt Laura, and their grandparents) all minded their own business for a while. As no beach day is complete without sea gulls bothering you, we weren't surprised when some came and went throughout the day. But this time when they came, Zach and Jordan decided to start throwing them food (bad idea). Then, because they're boys and think they're funny (ok, it was pretty funny), they decided to throw food all around me-in front of me, to my left, to my right, near my towel, on my back, etc. So of course, more kept coming and surrounding me. I tried to ignore the birds while yelling at Zach and Jordan to stop it right now. Of course, that only egged them on, so they kept doing it. Once there were 30 birds (not even exaggerating) all around me, I finally started to shoo them. Eventually the boys had mercy on me and stopped. It was pretty funny though, especially because they thought I'd totally freak out and I was pretty non responsive to the annoying "rats with wings".

-Favorite Bath & Body scents: Summer Vanillas in Lemon (which I think is discontinued), Forever Sunshine, Country Chic, Midnight Pomegranate, and Brown Sugar and Fig. Also, my favorite growing up was Sun-Ripened Raspberry but now that's pretty hard to find, though sometimes it still comes out.

-Having to use quarters for laundry is quite depressing. It also recommences next week.

-I'm going to laser tag tonight!! YAY!! Favorite thing to do! Well one of them. I'm extra excited because some of my friends from high school are going but so is Lindsay, so they all get to meet each other. Which is fortunate, because when I'm with Linds, I talk about the guys, and when I'm with the guys, I talk about Linds. So now they'll all have names with faces.

Encouraged

Well I know my last few posts have seemed a little downtrodden. Sorry about that, but I did want to be real with my emotions. And though I'm usually a really happy person and things can't get me down for too long, sometimes it all catches up with me and I get down, a little. Here is (one reason) why the Lord is so good: He picks you up out of the pit and sets your feet on a rock (Ps 40:2). He takes sinners and makes them new. And, He encourages us. Though I still face many of the same heartaches, He "put a new song in my mouth" (Ps 40:3) and I will continue to sing it!! This new song refers to the song of gratitude we have for our salvation. Though this new song is actually one I've been blessed to sing for the majority of my life, sometimes it helps to just reflect on who God is, who I am, and what He's done for me. It's hard to be forlorn when I have been saved from eternal separation from my Creator. "How has He encouraged you lately?" you ask. Well let me tell you:

1. Time spent with my brother. Sometimes it's the little things, like swimming in the afternoons and watching a movie at night with my eleven year old brother, that bring healing.

2. Hymns. Most people who know me know my love for hymns. Their rich doctrine and beautiful words are the perfect combination for helping anyone, through anything. Want to know why hymns are so helpful? Because they are about God, and about Christ, and about our sinful state and how He ransomed our souls by the blood of Christ to make us righteous and able to live with Him eternally, and about the victory He gives us over sin. Hymns are about Him, and what He's done. The focus is taken off of self, except to remind us of how wretched we are.

3. Time spent with true friends that are genuine, godly people. Several of my friends have helped immensely in the past week or so, some without even knowing that I've been so down. One friend, Lindsay (of course) has helped in particular. She's known I've been upset a bit lately but may not have realized the extent of it. But she posted a song called "To the Cross I Cling" by The Village Church on her blog. This song is also familiar from my trip to Santa Cruz with her family. At any rate, this song has been such an encouragement. I cling to the cross, not to my circumstances (which really are pretty great). It's all because of Christ that I am who I am, and I will forever be grateful to Him. Again, I'm reminded that it's about Him, not Laurie. This leads me to number 4.

4. The other night we were in the car, and "To the Cross I Cling" came on, and Linds said, "This is actually based off of one of the prayers from The Valley of Vision, 'The Broken Heart', almost word for word." So of course, yesterday morning I had to read this prayer for myself. Zach gave me a leather bound copy of The Valley of Vision for my birthday last year because he knew I didn't have one. (Let me interrupt my story to say that this is seriously one of the best gifts I've ever received.) Now, I'm sure he knew that this would be an incredible book for me to have, and he probably knew that it would bring immense blessing, but he may not have known that it would bring needed healing as well. Because, I don't know if you've ever read The Valley of Vision, but for me, when I start it, I can't stop. Anytime I pick up that book, I lose track of time and am humbled again and again by the rich truths found within. Unfortunately with the busyness of school and the laziness of summer, I'd never taken advantage of it, until yesterday. But ever since I picked it up and have read portions of it, I've been blessed again and again. God is so amazing in so many ways, and this book is such a precious reminder of that.

5.  God Himself. "Jehovah-Rapha" means that He's the God who heals. "El Roi" means He's the God who sees-sees our suffering and will help us, if we humble ourselves and ask for it. "El Shaddai" means God All Sufficient-He is all we need. "Jehovah-Shammah" means The Lord Who is Present- He's here with us, and has promised to never leave us or forsake us. When reflecting on God and who He is and what He's done, it's hard to be discouraged for very long.

Bittersweet

This week has sure had its share of ups and downs. I've babysat my brother every day which I thought would be monotonous but it's been really fun. We've swum almost every day and even though I have skinned knees from the bottom and sides of the pool, it's always the highlight of the day. Also, I've been finally figuring things out for school, such as how I'm going to get all my stuff down there and buying books. I took my bridesmaid dress to the lady who's going to alter it yesterday so that was another thing to check off the list. The Lord's been teaching me a lot through I Corinthians and that has been an immense blessing.

There have also been some hard things this week that I've had to deal with. On top of that (or maybe because of it), I haven't been sleeping well. I've learned that I'm a worrier-something that constantly needs to be brought to the Lord-which definitely robs me of sleep. I'm often tired and feeling emotionally drained. Some things just really hurt and as much as you try to ignore them, you can't. It partially makes me want school to hurry up and get here already so I can escape certain problems (which makes certain other ones worse though), but I know that I can't ever run away from problems because that does no good in the long run.

And then tonight. I ended this hard week hanging out with three great friends from high school, who all really love the Lord and desire to serve Him. It's great to hang out with people and have the chance to reminisce about the good ole days, and to both laugh a ton and have good conversations. I needed that tonight, and the Lord always is faithful to give us what we need.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." I love this because it reminds us that His love is steadfast and unceasing. No matter what comes, good or bad, the Lord loves us the same way and gives us enough mercy for both the good days and the bad.

A hymn that has helped me today

Some days life is just peachy. Even when the tough things come, you're ready for them and can handle them.

Other days, not so much. On these days, it seems like so many things affect you more than normal and you just need comfort. Well here's the comfort I've found because today (actually the last several days) has been hard.

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

What a friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear.

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,

Oh what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged-

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,

Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness;

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge-

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

In His arms He'll take and shield thee,

Thou wilt find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised

Thou wilt all our burdens bear;

May we ever, Lord, be bringing

All to Thee in earnest prayer.

Soon in glory bright, unclouded,

There will be no need for prayer-

Rapture, praise, and endless worship

Will be our sweet portion there.

I love that the second half of the last verse ends with hope. We are assured that heaven will be sweet because we will forever be praising our great God.

This is my personal blog, and though I often talk about things I like or what's going on in my life, I don't always talk about myself. I think. Anyway, here are some things about me that you might not know.

-I've always liked school. I've always looked forward to summer ending and school beginning. This increased in high school and college. Though class is often boring and homework is a pain, school is what I know. I'm used to seeing my friends daily and having random funny things happen-especially now that I'm in college. [Sidenote: this summer has been the exception. After coming home from a month in Maine, I had a few days of nothing before starting my job at the fair. This took up 2 and a half weeks, often with crazy hours. After the fair ended and we took everything down, leaving Cal Expo at 3:30 am (of course with a trip to Denny's to hang out one last time with fellow carnies until 5 am) last Monday morning. I babysat with Lindsay all day Monday, then came home early that evening, to spend one night at home before heading to Santa Cruz with the Stoevers. I got back on Friday afternoon. Anytime asked, I answered that I was not ready to go back, not ready for summer/freedom to end. Until today...when I got that itch for education back.] I love learning and I love the social aspect of school. Now that I'm in college, there's also dorm life to look forward to. [Sidenote #2: I don't know who my roommate is going to be this year-it's in God's hands. Needless to say, I'm apprehensive/nervous/excited to see who God has in store.]

-I love food packed with flavor. Anything really sweet, really salty, really sour, really spicy...you name it, I like it! Bold flavors are what I crave. On the other hand, pasta and saltines (though salty, they're still pretty bland) are some of my favorite foods.

-I love kids. I believe in the tradition of getting married and then having kids. But I used to see marriage as a means to an end (read: having my own kids). Thankfully, as I've grown older, I've learned that in a family, the most important relationship is between husband and wife, not parent and child. But I still love kids just as much.

-I love bright colors. But lately I've loved bright colors that have been muted. I don't know if that's the right term for it. This is what I mean:

-I eat my burgers upside down. I don't know why I do it. I just have for a long time. I think it's because it's easier to put my thumbs on the top and the rest of my fingers on the bottom. It's awkward to pick up and put down a burger that's right side up.

-Shots freak me out. Giving blood doesn't. Make sense to you? Me either.

-Cupcakes. Cake pops. Red velvet. Cheesecake. Love them all. Love making them, looking at them, talking about them, eating them.

-I'm not huge into flowers. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think they're pretty. But I don't know lots about them, or have a favorite, or have a particular desire to have a garden. I'm not even huge on getting flowers from people. I do appreciate the gesture, but I'm just not much into them.

-I'm unusually indecisive.

-Country boys/cowboys will always be appealing to me. I love the simplicity of the lifestyle, appreciate the hard working lifestyle, and happen to find them pretty attractive. Story time-last year for Outreach Week at TMC, I went to Bear Valley which is in Tehachapi, CA, which is in the mountains. It seems like almost everyone who lives in Bear Valley owns horses. Some of the boys in the youth group were authentic cowboys (no, I was not attracted to them-they were like 4 years younger and I was there to serve) and one had a rope with him. One of my friends asked if he'd teach her how to "lasso" and he looked at her almost like she was an idiot and said "Lasso is Spanish for rope. It's just called roping, not lassoing."

-I'm a jeans & tshirt kind of girl. Not really huge on makeup either-my every day routine is my Clinique 3 step facial washing/cleansing/moisturizing system, then eyeliner, then mascara. Truth be told, I'm not really into fashion/trends, as you can see by what I wear on a daily basis. When it's cold, I'm a huge hoodie person...so I pretty much look the same every day. Sue me, call me boring, do whatever you want. It's just how I am.

-Love socks. Cute socks and plain black socks are my favorites. I've gotten socks for almost every birthday/Christmas/Valentine's Day/Easter in the last few years.

-Food network and crime dramas. Pretty much all I ever watch on tv. Oh, and I watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette on hulu too.

-Bows. I love them. Ribbons tied into bows, headbands, bows on shoes, bows on baby clothes...I just think they're all adorable.

-I remember song lyrics from when I was a little kid. It's bad. Like remember-songs-from-Patch-the-Pirate-we-sang-in-church-when-I-was-6-years-old bad.

-Telling jokes is my thing. I have like 8 that I reuse and recycle all the time. It's bad when I'm in a group and I forget some of my jokes and then my friends tell them for me. Not kidding. I use them a lot. But I always like to hear and share jokes! So if you have any good ones, send them my way. Okay, they don't have to be good. Mine sure aren't.

-Cheetos and cheese stick nachos. Take a small bowl of cheetos, tear up a cheese stick and put it all over the cheetos, and microwave. Try it-seriously. It's good. Recipe compliments of my friend Andrew my senior year of high school.

-I always use blankets, even in the summer. I especially do while watching tv or reading-any time I'm on a couch. When I'm sleeping, I like lots of pressure on me, so I use lots of blankets then too. I don't know if it's partially because I'm always cold or if it's just that I always like pressure. But I love blankets.

These are some of the things that make me, me. Sorry if this is incredibly boring. Also, sorry for any grammar/punctuation mistakes. It's getting late and I'm tired! Proofreading (which I generally love) is not high on my list of priorities.

Cute Things

This picture's been on my phone since January and it still gets me.

sleepy little guy

ice cream log cake

bee cupcakes

This kills me it's so cute/funny/pathetic.

Reminds me of someone...

Old couples holding hands.

Lord, may this be me in 60 years.

What a Savior

Love this song [What a Savior]. Laura Story has tons of great songs, by the way.

Whew. These last several days/weeks have been pretty crazy. It's so funny how life can be so slow and almost dull at times and then suddenly be really fast-paced and busy. Working at the fair has been such a blessing. It's been really fun, but it's also stretched me at times. I've never taken so many showers or done so many small loads of laundry in such a short period of time. Being a food vendor has made me realize a lot of things, one of them being how easy it is for some people to act like they're better than you. They feel superior because you're serving them food. It seems like this should bother me, but it doesn't. Maybe it's because the chance of me ever seeing them again is really slim. Maybe it's because I know that if they're that shallow then I really don't care how they see things. Or maybe it's because my confidence is in Christ and that doesn't change no matter what job I have or who I'm around. It's probably some combination of the three, especially the last one. I've made friends on the job and it's been really cool. It's also been cool to work with Lindsay and her brothers (who are like brothers to me) and get to hang out with them in that context.

Anyway...school starts back up soonish and I'm trying to decide if I'm ready or not. I'm loving summer and the carefree feelings it brings. But I also miss my school friends. But I'm enjoying my home friends and my family. Also, I miss Maine and my friends/family there...but that doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about. I don't miss the stress of homework, but I do miss classes. I really miss Placerita Baptist Church. It's funny that I feel more at home there than I do at my church at home, which I've gone to since I was 5. But I miss PBC and all the people there. I miss the college group and I miss my Awana kids like none other. I'm looking forward to that starting up again. Awana was such a blessing because it was an outlet for all of the things I'm learning in my teacher ed classes. I miss Saturday brunches and I miss the curly fries from the caf. I really miss being close to so many beaches and also being close to so many other things that LA has to offer.

I'm also looking forward to September 10th and some of the days leading up to it. My best friend from high school is marrying my friend/classmate since first grade. Sammi and Adam are two amazing people who've been there for me through a lot. They're also so fun to be around! They visited me at work and though it was brief, it made my insane day so much better. I'm looking forward to being a bridesmaid for the first time (besides my dad and Kathy's wedding when I was in second grade and was given the title of "jr bridesmaid" along with my older sister). Who would've thought that I would be in the wedding of one of my classmates since first grade?! Not I. But I'm so excited. Plus I get to wear cute shoes.

My spiritual walk has been full of ups and downs this summer. I haven't been as consistent in my personal devotions at times. Other times, I can't get enough of the Word. Both my lack of devotions and my hunger for the Word have been very apparent in the way I use my time and treat others. I hit a few low points, but praise the Lord that He brought me out of those. He's so faithful to not let His children stray too far before bringing them back. This is something that I look forward to about school starting again too- constantly being around tons people who love the Lord, chapels, meeting with Meredith every week, friends who keep you accountable, Bible classes or regular classes through a Biblical worldview, church services and college group Sunday school class, etc. All of these things have shaped me the past two years and God has taught me so much through them. I've learned this summer how dependent on all of those things I was for a good portion of my spiritual growth. While those things are great and obviously do help me grow a lot, I have to remember they are not the most important thing and I can't rely on them only. I really do need to study the Word on my own and spend time worshiping God alone.

I know this post is full of random thoughts that don't really flow together and might not make much sense. But I just have had some things on my mind lately and this is where I share what's on my mind, hence, a rambling post.

Rather than writing a whole post including the things I love this week,I'm just going to post pictures.

 (Josh Turner-those blue eyes and deep voice get me every time)

Whew!

Let me start off by saying: I love my job. Yes, it's crazy. Yes, sometimes I come home smelling like bacon (which is a hard scent to get rid of, let me tell you). Yes, sometimes it's literally nonstop for hours. But there are so many blessings that come with it: not bored at home all the time, I work with some really cool people, my boss is great, I love talking to customers and people watching, we sell good food, it's a new experience-one I'll never forget, and on top of all that: it's helping with the school bill. What more can I ask for? Not much.

But still, it's a draining job. Especially when the people just don't stop coming. Sometimes I get frazzled; sometimes I make mistakes on the register. But I'm learning, and that's what matters. But still- I'm tired. Really tired, all the time. 

Also, I'm kinda drained emotionally right now. I don't know what it is, but summer has been hard. Part of it is my breakup with Trevor. While I know it's best for both of us that it happened, it was still way harder than I'd anticipated. It's hard because with losing the relationship, I lost the friendship too. And that's what hurt the most, because we'd been close for a while. But I know God has something better; I can't lean on anything or anyone but Him, and it's a good reminder of that. But it's not just that. It feels like some of my close friends from high school are no longer really interested in keeping up the friendship. And that's a bummer. I got home expecting to hang out with them a lot, and I've barely seen them at all. Not all of my high school friends, just some in particular. Needless to say, that's been pretty hard to deal with. I'm constantly wondering what I did wrong or what I could do to fix it, but I just can't think of anything. But again, I have to remember that I have a relationship with God, the only One with whom it matters, and the only One who will never let me down, and who will never, ever decide to leave. 

Another thing that has me worrying a lot is school. I lost my academic scholarship, and that really hurt me financially. Sometimes it's hard to know if God is asking for me to have more faith to provide what I need or if He's closing a door. My time at TMC so far has been so incredible. I can't begin to explain what a blessing it's been for me. The last thing I want to think about is the possibility that God is closing that door. My dad and I have talked about it countless times, and he never seems to think that that's what God's doing. But sometimes I just struggle to see how it could be anything but that. I know He will provide the funds if that's where He wants me to be. I have seen Him do things even more incredible than supplying a few thousand dollars. I know He can do it, I just don't know if He will. 

All this to say- I'm drained/wiped out/spent/exhausted/run down/worn out/weary, both physically and emotionally. But through my weakness, God will be glorified, because my weakness enables His strength to be on display even more.