Whew. These last several days/weeks have been pretty crazy. It's so funny how life can be so slow and almost dull at times and then suddenly be really fast-paced and busy. Working at the fair has been such a blessing. It's been really fun, but it's also stretched me at times. I've never taken so many showers or done so many small loads of laundry in such a short period of time. Being a food vendor has made me realize a lot of things, one of them being how easy it is for some people to act like they're better than you. They feel superior because you're serving them food. It seems like this should bother me, but it doesn't. Maybe it's because the chance of me ever seeing them again is really slim. Maybe it's because I know that if they're that shallow then I really don't care how they see things. Or maybe it's because my confidence is in Christ and that doesn't change no matter what job I have or who I'm around. It's probably some combination of the three, especially the last one. I've made friends on the job and it's been really cool. It's also been cool to work with Lindsay and her brothers (who are like brothers to me) and get to hang out with them in that context.

Anyway...school starts back up soonish and I'm trying to decide if I'm ready or not. I'm loving summer and the carefree feelings it brings. But I also miss my school friends. But I'm enjoying my home friends and my family. Also, I miss Maine and my friends/family there...but that doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about. I don't miss the stress of homework, but I do miss classes. I really miss Placerita Baptist Church. It's funny that I feel more at home there than I do at my church at home, which I've gone to since I was 5. But I miss PBC and all the people there. I miss the college group and I miss my Awana kids like none other. I'm looking forward to that starting up again. Awana was such a blessing because it was an outlet for all of the things I'm learning in my teacher ed classes. I miss Saturday brunches and I miss the curly fries from the caf. I really miss being close to so many beaches and also being close to so many other things that LA has to offer.

I'm also looking forward to September 10th and some of the days leading up to it. My best friend from high school is marrying my friend/classmate since first grade. Sammi and Adam are two amazing people who've been there for me through a lot. They're also so fun to be around! They visited me at work and though it was brief, it made my insane day so much better. I'm looking forward to being a bridesmaid for the first time (besides my dad and Kathy's wedding when I was in second grade and was given the title of "jr bridesmaid" along with my older sister). Who would've thought that I would be in the wedding of one of my classmates since first grade?! Not I. But I'm so excited. Plus I get to wear cute shoes.

My spiritual walk has been full of ups and downs this summer. I haven't been as consistent in my personal devotions at times. Other times, I can't get enough of the Word. Both my lack of devotions and my hunger for the Word have been very apparent in the way I use my time and treat others. I hit a few low points, but praise the Lord that He brought me out of those. He's so faithful to not let His children stray too far before bringing them back. This is something that I look forward to about school starting again too- constantly being around tons people who love the Lord, chapels, meeting with Meredith every week, friends who keep you accountable, Bible classes or regular classes through a Biblical worldview, church services and college group Sunday school class, etc. All of these things have shaped me the past two years and God has taught me so much through them. I've learned this summer how dependent on all of those things I was for a good portion of my spiritual growth. While those things are great and obviously do help me grow a lot, I have to remember they are not the most important thing and I can't rely on them only. I really do need to study the Word on my own and spend time worshiping God alone.

I know this post is full of random thoughts that don't really flow together and might not make much sense. But I just have had some things on my mind lately and this is where I share what's on my mind, hence, a rambling post.

Rather than writing a whole post including the things I love this week,I'm just going to post pictures.

 (Josh Turner-those blue eyes and deep voice get me every time)

Whew!

Let me start off by saying: I love my job. Yes, it's crazy. Yes, sometimes I come home smelling like bacon (which is a hard scent to get rid of, let me tell you). Yes, sometimes it's literally nonstop for hours. But there are so many blessings that come with it: not bored at home all the time, I work with some really cool people, my boss is great, I love talking to customers and people watching, we sell good food, it's a new experience-one I'll never forget, and on top of all that: it's helping with the school bill. What more can I ask for? Not much.

But still, it's a draining job. Especially when the people just don't stop coming. Sometimes I get frazzled; sometimes I make mistakes on the register. But I'm learning, and that's what matters. But still- I'm tired. Really tired, all the time. 

Also, I'm kinda drained emotionally right now. I don't know what it is, but summer has been hard. Part of it is my breakup with Trevor. While I know it's best for both of us that it happened, it was still way harder than I'd anticipated. It's hard because with losing the relationship, I lost the friendship too. And that's what hurt the most, because we'd been close for a while. But I know God has something better; I can't lean on anything or anyone but Him, and it's a good reminder of that. But it's not just that. It feels like some of my close friends from high school are no longer really interested in keeping up the friendship. And that's a bummer. I got home expecting to hang out with them a lot, and I've barely seen them at all. Not all of my high school friends, just some in particular. Needless to say, that's been pretty hard to deal with. I'm constantly wondering what I did wrong or what I could do to fix it, but I just can't think of anything. But again, I have to remember that I have a relationship with God, the only One with whom it matters, and the only One who will never let me down, and who will never, ever decide to leave. 

Another thing that has me worrying a lot is school. I lost my academic scholarship, and that really hurt me financially. Sometimes it's hard to know if God is asking for me to have more faith to provide what I need or if He's closing a door. My time at TMC so far has been so incredible. I can't begin to explain what a blessing it's been for me. The last thing I want to think about is the possibility that God is closing that door. My dad and I have talked about it countless times, and he never seems to think that that's what God's doing. But sometimes I just struggle to see how it could be anything but that. I know He will provide the funds if that's where He wants me to be. I have seen Him do things even more incredible than supplying a few thousand dollars. I know He can do it, I just don't know if He will. 

All this to say- I'm drained/wiped out/spent/exhausted/run down/worn out/weary, both physically and emotionally. But through my weakness, God will be glorified, because my weakness enables His strength to be on display even more.

Work

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, this summer I was blessed with a job at the state fair. The fair started Thursday, and my shift began at 5pm. In case you forgot what I'm doing, I'm selling chocolate covered bacon, churros, frozen lemonade, and drinks. That is part 1 of my job. But let me back up; there are some things I should mention before I talk about the actual job. Ever since I've gotten back from Maine, my big toe on my left foot has been bothering me. I've mentioned it to my dad briefly a couple times. The pain seriously is not that bad. But Wednesday night I was describing to him where the pain is-where my big toe meets the ball of my foot. He said that he'd had that before, and that it's called turf toe. He kinda laughed as he said that, because it's something that mainly athletes get. In case you're unfamiliar with that, it's damage to the soft tissue on the bottom of the foot where the toe meets the ball of the foot, a result of hyper extension. I looked it up on webMD and it said that it's something that lasts for a few weeks. So I was nervous that being on my foot all the time at work would prolong it, and I didn't have any good shoes that would help keep it in place (most of my shoes are flip flops or have flat soles, and neither help with the pain). I iced my toe Wednesday night, and alternated ice and heat during the day on Thursday, both with no real reduction of pain besides temporary relief.

Also, all of my life, I have been a shy person. Now that I'm older, I'm not really shy anymore, just quiet and not very outgoing around people I don't know. This was another source of nerves. Talking to people and trying to get them to buy things from me, while learning to do the rest of my job at the same time, seemed daunting. I thought I'd be alone at a stand all night, the first night of the fair, and the first night of my job. Suffice it to say, I was a little worried.

Of course, the night went way better than I'd expected. The Lord is so good. It was a case of "when we are faithless, He remains faithful" (2 Tim. 2:13). Here's why:
-I found a good pair of tennis shoes in Holly's closet upstairs, and she said I could wear them. These shoes were really comfortable for standing all night, and the best part-no toe pain.
-When I first got to work, I was a little early. I wasn't sure where to go, but I ran into my friend Amy who also works there. She showed me where to go and overall really calmed me down.
-I didn't end up having to work alone at all.
God knows His children so well, and is faithful to help us even when we forget to ask for help. It's like He answers the prayers that we sometimes forget to pray.

Ok, back to the job part of this post:
Thursday when I started, I was trained by my boss and then began working with a guy named Joey (who, it turns out, went to a rival high school of mine along with Zach and Jordan Stoever) who had worked there last year. Since he was experienced, I was less nervous. After 20 minutes or so, he left and was replaced by a girl named Amanda. It's her first year working at the fair, but she had been working all day, so she had the hang of it too. After an even shorter time of working with her than I had with Joey, I went to a different place, closer to the entrance of the fair, to work with Amy's sister Lila. She is one of the best at that job, and everything went so smoothly. I worked with her for the rest of the night (a little over 4 hours). It wasn't too crowded that night, so there were times where we had no one at the stand, but there were also times where we had several customers. But it was such a smooth night and nothing went wrong. Even better than that, I loved it! I loved talking to all the customers and people watching and spending time with Lila and other employees.

Then yesterday I experienced part 2 of my job: working in the bacon trailer. Now this job is busy. You are constantly making bacon/dipping it in chocolate/salting it/putting it in the freezer/packaging it when frozen. There's never not something to do. It's a small trailer and there's usually three people in there. Toward the end of the day there were even more - at one point there were six of us working in there. It's safe to say that it was pretty cramped in there. I can't tell you how many pairs of gloves I wore throughout my 9 hours there (minus my 30 minute lunch break and 15 min afternoon break). It seemed like we were always running out of room in the freezers. But it never got to the point where we'd actually run out because people came and brought the choc. bacon back to base camp to be delivered to the people selling it. This job was not as fun because I didn't get to deal with the fair-goers and it's pretty monotonous. But I liked that once you got into the rhythm, it went very smoothly.

Anyway, that's going to be my life for the next few weeks-that and sleeping as much as I can, because it's exhausting. I'm definitely enjoying my day off today, and looking forward to tomorrow, because this job is pretty unpredictable. And I love it!!

Mickey Mouse, the best ice pack ever! We've had this guy for as long as I can remember.

Notice his nose is broken...it's been like that for years. Mickey is a great pal when you're injured!

Fireworks Thursday night! The fair has fireworks every night, and since I didn't see any on the 4th of July, I had to take a picture. Excuse the blurriness.

Lindsay and I on her first/my second day of work!! You don't get that good of a view of our shirts, but you get the idea! 

Midweek Favorites

This week I love:

Nail polish:

 Forever 21's Love & Beauty in Dusty Blue.

I'm currently wearing it, and I love it! I never thought I'd wear any form of blue polish on my nails after I graduated jr high

Contestant on Bachelorette:

J.P.

 He's sweet, seems to really like Ashley - and she likes him back, and I could look at him all day. He's really down to earth and is nice to everyone.

Fortunately he seems like he will definitely be in the top 2, if not her first choice.

Potential Next Recipe:

Rainbow cake. 

Ok, not all of these, but I want to try at least some form of it. Yum.

Idea.

Song:

Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band.

Quote:

"She's mature. And she doesn't have Bieber fever."

-My brother, referring to me.

Funny Question

Last night we had a meeting to go over information for working at the fair [which starts tomorrow:stoked]. There are a few people here with a foreign exchange program, one from Turkey and two from Vietnam, who will be working with us for a few days. Last night, I talked for a while with a girl named Tahn (or something like that, forgive my ignorance) from Vietnam who just graduated college recently. We were talking about food in America, and she asked if we eat anything besides burgers, because that's pretty much all she's eaten since she got to Sacramento. So I explained to her some of the things we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I explained the different foods we eat chronologically, so of course I began with breakfast. The first thing I said was cereal. She asked, "What is cereal?" Not at all what I was expecting to hear. I turned to Lindsay and asked, "how would you describe cereal?" So for the next couple minutes, we tried to explain what cereal is. It's not as easy to describe, especially to someone who isn't totally comfortable with the English language.

This job is going to be fun.

There's something about this picture that just makes me happy.

I love colors and balloons and beautiful buildings, and this has all three. Maybe that's why. 

Anyway, I know it's random but some things just need to be shared.

Musing

Jet lag is a funny thing. In Maine, I'd go to bed anytime between 12:30 and 1:30 on a normal night. But now that I'm back in California, which is 3 hours behind, by about 7:30 I have to fight to keep my eyes open. My stomach is also completely off schedule. I'm hungry for meals 1 or 2 hours before the normal meal time. But I force myself not to eat until a normal time so that I can get on track as soon as possible. Then, by the time I sit down to eat, I'm barely hungry. So silly. I just hope to get back on track completely before I start work.

Midweek Favorites

This Week's Favorites

Color Combination:

I love this blue/purple combination. I know it's weird, but sometimes I obsess over color combinations. Currently, this is my color obsession. I just think they're pretty and summery.

Tasty Treat:

Stracciatella gelato from Gorgeous Gelato. Stracciatella has a vanilla gelato base with chocolate chunks swirled in. It's amazing. Also, if you ever get the chance, try their Oreo flavor - they perfectly capture the flavor of Oreos - including the cream on the inside.

Place:

Gooch's Beach, Kennebunk, ME. I took this picture on the jetty at the beach this past Saturday. My family (Abby for only part of it) went to Kennebunk to see my grandma, and my Aunt Judy, Uncle Mark, and cousins Ellen and Andrew (from New Hampshire) were there too. After a morning of visiting and a wonderful lunch, the group headed to the beach. Many of my favorite childhood memories took place at this beach. 

Fast Food Joint:

5 Guys Burgers and Fries. Wow. What an incredible place. I went there for the first time today. This one was located in Portland, so the area around it was gorgeous. When we walked in, we walked past stacks of bags of potatoes - none of their food is frozen, and the only thing they don't make fresh on location is their buns. The food is incredible and the wait is decent, though made more bearable through complimentary shelled peanuts. 

Gum:

5 Cobalt. Peppermint. I'd describe it as this: minty minty minty minty minty fresh.

And wonderful.

iPhone App:

Instagram. I love this thing. It's an easy way to edit pics, you just choose from different settings. I like it because it's a fast way to make pics look good. Also, you can follow people and have people follow you, and your feed will show your own pics and those of all the people you're following.