Life Abundant

John 10:10-"...I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

Today is one of those days where I am just so excited to be alive. God has poured out His blessings on me again and again. As the verse in John says, Christ came to give us abundant life. Today has reminded me of this. It's like at every possible turn, there have been blessings.

Church this morning was amazing. Pastor Scott preached out of Romans 12:1 (which is, "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God. which is your spiritual service of worship.") , and one of the things he talked about was the phrase "Therefore I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God..." Then he asked us a question to get us thinking-what are the mercies of God? He answered his question by saying, "The mercies of God are the blessings of salvation that are ours because of Christ." These blessings of salvation that we have received bring a response of gratitude that enables us to present our bodies a living and holy sacrifice. Some examples of the mercies of God are:

-The righteousness of God

-Justification by faith

-Favor/grace of God

-Redemption

-Reconciliation to God

-God's forgiveness.

There are many more, but I just thought that this would give you an idea of what they are. God really used this part of the sermon to change my thinking already.

Then I had my membership class where we talked about some things that also really encouraged me and provoked my thinking. Lunch, though, was another huge blessing. I ate with my friend Abby, and we talked a lot about what we are learning and struggling with, and it is such a blessing to have someone who seems to go through similar things as I do. Abby is such a sweet girl who loves the Lord passionately, and is such an encouragement to me.

Lately I have been really convicted about not serving in my church as I had been planning to all summer. I prayed this morning that somehow today I would find a place to serve, thinking that maybe it would be in youth ministry. Well, this morning went by and I did not pursue anything and no one came to me either(this is not me blaming anyone-I did not expect this to happen, and I realize it is my responsibility to ask about it, and I failed), so in my flesh, I forgot about it. Then tonight, after another great sermon, we had our normal Body Life time (in case you do not know what this is, it is about twenty or so minutes where people share prayer requests or answers to prayer, and others in the congregation pray for them. We also have a handout given before the service with other prayer requests printed on it, and we pray for some of those as well). Pastor Steve talked about how Awana had a need in the Sparks ministry, and said to talk to the lady in charge after the service if we were willing to help. Of course, I did! I am so excited to be working in a ministry with 80 K-2nd graders, as well as many leaders. It was then that I remembered the prayer I had prayed this morning about finding somewhere to serve. God answered a prayer that I forgot about! I am so forgetful, even about things that I am passionate about. I have no explanation for this except that I am a wicked sinner who needs the grace of God each day. 

Hopefully you can tell, but in case you can't: my life is just so full right now! God has blessed me again and again, and I am so grateful to be His child. He really is so good to me, even though sometimes I forget this. He reminded me that life without Him is so empty and discouraging, but life in Him is life abundant. 

In closing, I would like to quote a song that is brought to mind as I think about this. 

"My heart is filled with a thousand songs proclaiming the glories of Calvary. With every breath, Lord, how I long to be like Jesus who died for me. Lord take me deeper into the glories of Calvary."

Have a great day :)

Whew! Today ends the third week of school. This past week has flown by! It was a great one! Here are some of the blessings I've had so far:
- My roomie, Sarah. We've had some fun conversations. It's nice to be able to have serious conversations and still be able to make each other laugh. One thing that's been hard is that we don't see each other as much this semester as we did last year, especially last semester. But looking back, we still make the most of the time we do have.
- My math test on Monday was really easy and I did well.
- Wednesday night dinner with my new friend Abby. We talked for hours and she is such an encouragement.
- Membership class at PBC started on Sunday and I know that I will get to know some awesome people.
- Signed up for Outreach Week and it sounds like it will be a great time serving the Lord...I'm so excited!
- Against my wishes, my friends are in the midst of planning a birthday celebration of some sort for me for tonight (I turn twenty on Sunday). Though I did not really want to celebrate, I am so grateful for my friends who care enough to ignore me :)
- This morning my department chapel was cancelled. Lindsay and I went to Starbucks during that time with the goal of doing homework. Two other girls in my dorm were also there, and for a while the four of us talked. It was nice to just sit and chat, even though we didn't get much work done.
- Despite my lack of studying (like I was planning to do at Starbucks), I got 100 on my biology quiz (which was super easy).
- My biology class is turning out to be way better than I hoped. I've mostly always had science from a Christian worldview, so that isn't new. But it is still really nice and I really appreciate it. My professor is really interested in the subject and it gets us all interested. We study different animals each day and they are all so unique. Through the animals we study each day and the videos we sometimes watch, I have seen so much of God's creativity in this world, and it is awe-inspiring. 
- Though I was sick this week, I felt so taken care of! So many people blessed me with their kindness, and it was nice to see how much people care even about the little things like colds.
- My devotions  have been in Psalm and I am studying the character of God. There are things that are mentioned repeatedly. It is really enforcing the ideas into my head. It's nice to read over and over again that God loves righteous men and that He is a refuge, and other things like that.
- My RA from last year, Lynsi, who graduated in May, came to visit last night. It was so exciting to see her again. She is continually an encouragement to me. It was so good to just see her and hug her and laugh with her again. I never realized how much I would miss her this year, so it was good to see her.

Those are just some of the things that have gone on in the last week to really encourage me.
 

Last weekend some of my friends and I went camping in Carpenteria. My friend Courtney's family and some of their other family friends went camping all last week, and they invited some of us to go with them for the weekend. The families had been staying in their trailers for the week, and had a couple tents to spare. It was a great time, even though it was kind of short. Some of us (including myself) left Friday in the early afternoon. We got there and set up the tents and went swimming in the ocean. It was beautiful and so nice!! Not too cold at all! Then a little bit later the rest of the friends came up and soon after we ate dinner. It was so exciting to sit on the beach with some people you really love and eat dinner while watching a gorgeous sunset.

That night, we sat around the campfire and talked for a while. It included my friends from school, several of Courtney's brothers and sisters, and some of their other friends who had been their for the week. It was a really fun time and there was lots of laughing. That night we slept in tents on the beach right by Courtney's family's campsite. In case you were wondering, that was a lifelong dream fulfilled. I've always wanted to camp on the beach. It was great!

The next morning when Lindsay and I woke up to an empty tent, we went outside to see where everyone was. We found them closer to the water, and grabbed some blankets and our Bibles and headed out there. Let me tell you, there is nothing like reading your Bible on the beach in the midst of some of your closest friends. Later that day we went into the little town-Carpenteria is so quaint and so interesting! I picked up something for Holly's birthday in a few weeks. But one of the coolest parts was the antique shops. I fell in love! There is just so much history in those places. It was so cool to see what people used to have.

I liked looking at the clothes, home decorations, and dishes. There were some cool signs and books and...well I could go on. But it was pretty much all cool! I never knew that I would like looking through those shops! That was a cool thing to learn. These are two of the pictures I took. The quality may not be best because I took them with my phone, but they still capture the really cool items we found. The whole town was cool, but this was the day I started feeling sick so I went back to the campsite with some of the girls. That night we at dinner and talked with everyone for a while and then just came back. It was a great way to spend the weekend! Well that's about it for now :) Have a great day!

Well, today is the last day of my second week of my second year of college. Wow! It's already been pretty busy. This semester is going to be tough but so far it's still been really good. I officially changed to a Liberal Studies major with a Teacher Education emphasis. I had to do that when I first came to the LA area (a weekish before school started) and as a result, all of my classes but one changed. I am learning so much already that I can't believe it's only been two weeks. Many of my classes are related to each other, and it is interesting to see all the theories and studies there are about the way children develop. So far I think that my favorite class will be Child and Adolescent Development. It has already taught me sooo much! It requires a lot of work, but there is so much to learn and it's very insightful so I have enjoyed doing the homework (so far, at least).

It's been great being back on campus again, in the best dorm Cdub! I am rooming with the same awesome girl, Sarah. We are on the second floor this year, so we are adjusting to having people above us. It's been really good so far! Also, I'm really enjoying meeting all the girls on my wing. I didn't know most of them last year, and many of them I did not even know who they were. It will be fun to get to know them all better! I am also loving meeting all the freshman/transfers. They are so awesome and it has been awesome meeting so many people and seeing their love for the Lord.

God is already stretching me and teaching me things. There are things that I'm learning right now that I was not really planning on learning, because they are some hard lessons. I really have to learn to obey Him and walk by faith. Learning patience is going to be really hard, but I know that it will be really worth the hard parts, because I will come out of it more like Christ. It's not necessarily comfortable but I can finally say that I'm learning to trust His will. Even though it may be hard right now I know He is refining me and really has my best interest in mind, when I really don't. I know what I want, and He knows what I need. I'm so very thankful that I have God, who knows me so well, in control of my life and always doing what is best for me!
Right now I am going through Psalms again and studying the character of God-it is so good to look see this! Knowing His character and how He acts toward the righteous have been really helpful in my walk with Him. I am looking forward to whatever else he will teach me this year. I know how much I changed last year, and I hope that this year will be much like that!

Back to the Days of Barbies and Freeze Tag

Remember when you were young? Many of my best memories come from before the age of ten. Those summer days when my sisters and I would play outside with our neighbors all day and the school days of playing freeze tag and crack the whip are just a few of them. My sisters and I adored playing with our Barbies and the other dolls that we had. From skip-its to hopscotch, little "peoples" to pogs, we always had so much fun. There was something awesome about the outlook I, like so many other people at that age, had on life. Though my early childhood was not always what you could call easy, there was never a point where things seemed hopeless. Not a day went by when I did not feel the love of my Father in heaven. Even through my parents' divorce and living on opposite coasts, I was not unhappy as a child-far from it, actually. I'm not going to lie to you though; it was very hard at times and I definitely cried my fair share of tears. But even through the pain there was always a glimmer of hope, and I always knew that things would work out in the end.

But things are different now. We used to be carefree and excited for each day, but the days of innocence and ignorance are over. I know this change happened for all of us. I really could not tell you at what point in my life that this started to change. Maybe it was a result of age. Maybe it was all the disappointments and heart aches brought about through the various people I've come across. Maybe it was the fact that year after year seemed to always be the same-school, summer, school, summer, etc. Maybe it was through older friends that I've had, who had already gone through this change. Life seems to make us almost cynical, for lack of a better word. We no longer believe the claims we see commercial after commercial make. We see one person after another talk about trust issues because they had been cheated on or had loved and lost. We do not take the time we should to just sit and listen to what others have to say. Life is too busy to just slow down and soak in wisdom from people who have experienced it before us.

I miss the days when I believed every commercial I saw. I miss thinking about who I am going to marry (as all girls inevitably do) without wondering how much heartache it will take to get there. I miss trusting in God so easily; now it is sometimes hard, even after seeing His faithfulness and goodness over and over again. I miss the days when I didn't realize that even the best of people could hurt me. There are so many different things that have changed-not all bad. Life is just different now. I know that it will be a struggle to stand firm in my faith at times. I will be very careful to guard my heart because I know what it is like to feel pain and do not ever want to feel that again. I know who to not trust to keep my secrets (not that I really have any). I have felt unbelievable pain and have lost some great people in my life. God has put me through the refining process many times and believe me, it burns. When I was a kid, it seemed like those things would never happen to me, because though I was tall and looked older than I was, I still always felt young. I felt that I would never be old enough to go through that kind of pain. But now I have. I have been through many things that I would rather not repeat. But thankfully, I can say that I know what it feels like to depend on God when it seems like no one else cares. I know that He really does cause everything to work out for the best (Romans 8:28). He has a plan for my life, and for yours, and will accomplish it (Psalm 138:8).

What I am getting at is this:I love being older and knowing how to handle some situations; I am grateful for every blessing and every trial in my life because I know they have made me into who I am; I love how much I have grown spiritually and learned about God in the past years; but there are some things that I miss. I can't  say that I want to go find my Barbies and play with them, but there are things about childhood that I wish I could return to. I really do want to go back to innocent thinking. I want to trust people, even if it hurts. I want to look for the good in everyone. I want to be in awe of things that truly are amazing. I don't want the scars of my past to affect the present or the future. Most of all, I want my faith to be childlike-unswerving and unquestioning. I want to just easily fall into the hands of the only One I can fully trust to love me unconditionally and discipline me and make me more like Him.

School

Ok, honestly, I have always been one of those people who likes school. Yes, I admit I often complain about it, procrastinate on homework (and then regret it!), and look forward to weekends and vacations just like everyone else. But I also look forward to it starting again. I always have. Maybe part wanting to go back is because I used to spend my entire summer in Maine, so I wouldn't see all of my friends for months and I knew that I would at school. Even school shopping always excited me. Part of the reason I've always looked forward to going back is, I think, because I have new goals and expectations of myself, and have a clean slate. I have gone into each year with a little bit of a different view from the one before, but always eager to start.

Again, I am feeling that way. Maybe now more than ever, since I am in college. It helps that I go to a school that I love. I am excited for my classes and meeting new people and making friends. Also, I am excited to start a new semester with the potential of doing better than I ever have. Several weeks ago I wrote a list of goals for the next semester that I hope to achieve. One of my professors last semester really inspired me to have a desire to learn. To not just be in school because it's normal, or because it will get me where I want to be later in life, but because I want to learn more about the world God created and the people He placed in it.

There are several things I'm looking forward to. Here are some of them, in no particular order:
Chapel-singing great songs and hearing the preaching from great men who love the Lord
Seeing my friends on a daily basis
Breakfast with Lindsay
Dorm life (cdub is the BEST)-the people are great and we have the best RD
My roommate! Lord willing, the same as last year
Walking upstairs and smelling cookies or other things Amber has baked
Movie nights/game nights
Denny's runs
Small groups
Waffle nights (thursdays)
Brunch on Saturdays and spending the rest of the day with Lindsay
Baking with Lindsay and Courtney
Talking/driving around/singing obnoxiously with Kayla
Outreach Week
My church-Placerita Baptist. And my college group

I could keep going, but I think you get the picture. I love summer, but I am also excited for school to start!

Father's Day

Whew! It's been a while since I have written in my blog! Sorry if I have kept all my avid readers (ha) waiting for a while! So much has changed. I have seen God work in my life and provided for me in many diverse ways. He has shown Himself good and faithful over and over again to me in just the few weeks since I have last written. But that is not what I want to say.

Today is Father's Day!! (The 9 minutes left of it, anyway) I have come to realize how blessed I am. I have not only a wonderful dad, but also a wonderful step dad. And even better, I have an amazing heavenly Father, too! That said, I want to focus on my dad for a little bit. He is such an awesome man who loves the Lord first and his family second. I know we have not always gotten along and that I have not always seen his point of view, but ever since my senior year of high school and on I have begun to understand him (and my mom and step mom and step dad..and all parents in general!) more and more.

I am so grateful for his wisdom and his knowledge of God's word. Every time I have a question I know that I can go to him for the answers. This past year, my first year of being away at college, I have confided in him more than ever. He always has the right thing to say-it doesn't always make me feel better right away, but it makes me act better. Then later I understand where he is coming from. Some things he's said shocked me, but after I see God's plans unfold in those areas, I have seen that he is way smarter than me, or at least more experienced. It has always been humorous to me when my friends have scoffed at their parents' advice, thinking that they could not possibly understand. The thing is, they do. I have seen that my dad knows more about me than I do. He definitely gives me amazing advice, whether it be about school, dating, a career, or anything.

One of my favorite things about my dad is his love of God's word. That love has become apparent to me. And very helpful. Whenever I have a question about God or things that the Bible says, my dad is the first person I go to for help. He always has an answer, and if he doesn't, he will find out and tell me when he finds out. I really do appreciate it so much as I study the word, especially at school.
I am unable to express how much my dad, and all of my parents, means to me. I will forever be grateful for all of the lessons he has taught me; all of the times he's let me cry on his shoulder; all of the phone calls that begin with me crying, stressed over one thing or another, and end with me feeling so much better; all of the sacrifices he has happily made for me. He is truly a good example of what a godly man looks like.

I love my daddy so much1

Here is my dad with Sarah and Holly and me at Holly's graduation

A Song That's Been Stuck in My Head for DAYS

Monday morning I was reading in Psalms and I came across some verses that seemed very familiar to me. It was Psalm 62:1-2-"My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." I realized why it was familiar-it was part of a song I had sung both in chapel and at church this past year. It has been stuck in my head ever since then, not that I am complaining. Sometimes it's the most annoying thing in the world to have a song stuck in your head (i.e. 1,2,3,4 by Plain White T's. that was BAD) for several days. But this time, I got lucky. I'll post the words so you can see why I like them:

My Soul Finds Rest Psalm 62
by Aaron Keyes and Stuart Townend

My soul finds rest in God alone,
My Rock and my salvation,
A fortress strong against my foes,
And I will not be shaken.
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse,
And lies like arrows pierce me,
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness,
I’ll look to Him who hears me.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

Find rest, my soul, in God alone
Amid the world’s temptations;
When evil seeks to take a hold
I’ll cling to my salvation.
Though riches come and riches go,
Don’t set your heart upon them;
The fields of hope in which I sow
Are harvested in heaven.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

I’ll set my gaze on God alone,
And trust in Him completely;
With every day pour out my soul,
And He will prove His mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath,
A sigh too brief to measure,
My King has crushed the curse of death
And I am His forever.

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.

O praise Him, O praise Him, hallelujah, hallelujah,
O praise Him, O praise Him, hallelujah, hallelujah,
O praise Him, O praise Him, hallelujah! hallelujah!

O praise Him, hallelujah,
My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing,
My Redeemer, my God.




This is a great song! Each verse is rich and such an encouragement. In some songs we sing it seems like some of the words are just fillers, and then some lines are meaningful. But this is one of those songs where that is not the case-each line is so full! I love songs like that!!


An update on my summer: it's been going well! I have seen my best friend Sam, spent some time with Laura (including two trips to the lake!), saw Lindsay and Zach, and done some other fun things :). Most of my days I am home alone since my dad is at work and Kathy and Riley are still in school. I am becoming restless and bored with the few things that I have to do. It's not fun sometimes. A lot of my friends are still in school, but finishing up this week. Then it will be better! I leave for Santa Clarita with Lindsay around June 1 and fly out to Maine on June 4. Then it will be a week of lots&lots of family, including seeing my newest cousin Griffin (sp?), and then Holly GRADUATES! Crazy.

Well I hope this song is an encouragement to you like it is to me! Have a great day :)

Fear

Galatians 1:10-"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ." (NASB)

I constantly find myself in need of this verse. So many times, just in 2010, I have been shown my fear of man. It has become evident especially in the last couple months of the semester. I have seen over and over again how much I care about what people think. In some ways, I really do not care. But there are some things that I constantly struggle with when it comes to fear of man. I shared with my small group (which consisted of my RA Lynsi, friend Kayla, and myself) how God has really been working in that area of my life. My friend Christian and I are praying about what God would have us do, and it looks like we will become more than "just friends" soon. This has opened my eyes to a whole new area of my life where I see a fear of man. Who am I trying to please? My friends, his friends, people we do not even know? What would the point of that be? If we try to please people, we will fail, because not everyone will be pleased by the same things. When we try to please God, no one else, or their opinion, matters.

Steve Lawson, when he came as a chapel speaker to my school, summed it up better than I ever could have. He said, "If you please Christ, it doesn't matter who you displease. If you displease Christ, it doesn't matter who you please."

I wonder...do I spend half the time I spend thinking about/trying to please men, trying to please God? If I spent that much time trying to please God and forgetting about pleasing men, how different would my life be?

School's OVER

I can finally say that my first year of college is complete! And what a year it has been! I don't want to spend all night talking about every single thing that happened this past year. There has just been too much! If you ever want to know, ask me about it in person. This year has been full of difficult things and many challenges where I had the choice to either do things my way or do things God's way. I made many right decisions and many mistakes. Thankfully God is still using me, no matter how many times I mess up!

When I left for school, I was ready for change. I was still trying to mend my broken heart, nervous about meeting a person that I would be living in a small room with for a whole school year, anxious about making friends, sad to leave my friends and family at home, eager to see what college would be like and really excited to see how God would work in my life. My heart healed itself once I found that God was all-sufficient and that I did not need someone (who had really just gotten in the way of my relationship with God-for that I blame myself, not him) else to make me happy. I LOVED my roommate and we are planning on rooming together next year. I made TONS of friends who love God and encourage me to walk close with Him. I did miss home alot, but often I was too busy to think about it. College was amazing-classes were awesome, chapel-the music and the messages-were amazing, and dorm life is always fun (except when you can't find anywhere to be alone). God worked in my life in so many, many ways. I learned from classes, chapel, my church, my college group, small group, my RA, my friends, my devotions...I could go on and on. Basically, I have learned alot and I have seen God refining me and making me more like Him. I learned that more important than Christ-likeness is my love for Him. Out of the overflow of my love for Him will come obedience and imitation. I learned that even something as good as my own sancification can become an idol if it takes away from my first love.

When I came home after the end of the school year, I came home a completely different person. I came back loving God more than ever before, loving people more than ever, with a desire to love and serve my family, missing my new family that I found through my friends and in my dorm, and ready to see what God would do in my life this summer. I am eager to see what He wants to do in regards to a special friend of mine :)...more about that to come. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness to God. Pslam 40:2-"He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps." God took me out of that pit the psalmist was talking about and put me in a safe place. In Him alone I am secure. I have learned that over and over again (often the hard way) this year. I have learned that though I may fail a thousand times, He is patient and will never give up on me. He is working in my heart big time.

Going to The Master's College is a huge priveledge. I loved everything about it! I loved the chapels, the values and beliefs held there, the professors, the classes, the dorms, the staff...everything! Honestly, I am so blessed to be able to go there. It's funny how God can bring so many completely different people from all over the world together and make it so that each person there is encouraged by and an encouragement to others around them. He is sovereign over every person that attends each school. It's interesting to see that even the people He decided to place on my wing made a huge impact on me. To sum it all up...I am so grateful to God for providing the way for me to go to Master's. My time spent there was so worth any stress or sacrifice it took to get me there or allow me to stay there.

Well, I am done for tonight but I know that there is tons more for me to say. I may write out more in my blog, but I may not. But I love talking about what God's been doing in my life, so if you want to know more, just ask me! Good night

Hold me, break me, mold me and make me

Stir In Me

Stir in me a fire that the world cannot explain

I come to worship You.

Stir in me a passion that my heart cannot contain

I come to worship You.

Hold me, break me, mold me and make me more and more like You

I come to worship You

To love You, fear You, draw ever near You as I worship You

I come to worship You, oh Lord

This is a song that I love. The first part is all about wanting a fiery passion for the Lord in our lives. This is so necessary to endure the hardships and trials that come through the Christian life. I want a love for Him that is so evident in everything I do and say. I wish that people would not know me for anything except for my love for God. I want a passion for Him that my heart cannot contain. Then the second part talks about wanting to be made more in the image of Christ, and into the person that He wants us to become. It talks about how part of our walk as Christians is about us-loving God, fearing Him, and drawing near to Him. Just like other relationships, we need to put time and effort into our walk with God.

This song has been on my mind alot lately. The part that says, "...break me, mold me and make me more and more like You..." is a tough thing to pray. God will break us, and often when he makes us more like Him it is when He is refining us. As I think I've said before, refining is a process where gold is put into the fire. When God refines us, He puts us through the fire-it burns. But then, He is able to make us into who He wants us to be. The end result is always worth it (God does know what He's doing, after all), but it's often a difficult process. I often sing this song or pray in this way, but sometimes I wonder how much I really mean it.

Life lately has been extremely interesting. Some things are going on in my life that are fun and very exciting, but scary at the same time. I wonder what the Lord is doing, but I know He has a plan for my life. I have been really worried about messing things up, but as two of my older and wiser wingmates, Lynsi (my RA) and Lydia (her roommate), have said to me, if I am actively pursuing Christ, and God's will for my life, He will not let me stray to far. He loves me to much to do that. When we seek Him, we will always find Him. How amazing to think about that! Those two are such godly examples of what I would like to be. They have given me such great advice, especially in a particular area. I love them and am so sad they are graduating!

Life lately has been great! This past weekend was really fun-our formal(ish) event, Spring Party, was on Friday night. It took place at Castle Green, and it was beautiful. So many funny memories from that night! Then Saturday, my friend Christian and I went to Zuma in Malibu and my friend Bear (Daniel) from my school (since first grade!) came and the three of us spent the day in the sand and the sun. It was such a great time! It was really nice to just lay out and relax, and also nice to see Bear again!

Here's some pictures from the weekend :)

Me with Christian, my date for Spring Party

Lynsi, my faithful friend and RA

Alyssa, friends for who even knows how long. I can talk to her about anything!

Courtney..we never fight!

Hard to tell...but we saw several dolphins swimming while at the beach

I got TONS of sand in my hair from my dunking in the ocean

Regret

Yesterday my friend sent me a message on facebook entitled "Regret". When I clicked on it, I had no idea what she could have been talking about. Her message said that she wished we could go back and redo high school over again. Knowing what we know now. Now we know that we shouldn't have wasted time on guys who are now completely out of the picture. Now we know that drama is stupid and a waste of too many emotions and too much time. Now we know that focusing on school is important, but friends are even more important. The relationships I made with people in high school are what I remember most-not the grades I got on all my Pratt tests (though maybe I forgot those on purpose...).

This friend and I were both in relationships for our junior and senior years of high school. We thought that though there was drama with that, it was inevitable. What we completely missed was the fact that without those guys in our lives, it would have been much easier. We would have had closer friendships and better grades. We would have had more time to spend on doing things that we love, and getting to know new people. But instead we rushed to do our homework so we could wait by the phone for an hour long phone call at night. I'm not saying that we neglected friends altogether, we just spent less time with them than we could have. Looking back, this was not the way to live. Oh, we were happy. But we weren't thriving. We could have become a lot closer to each other and other people, and had much better relationships with God, if we had been single. When you put so much of yourself into things like boyfriends, you have so little left over for the other things. I wish I had spent more time writing. I wish I had gotten to know more people. I wish I had done so many things. Instead, I chose to spend my time investing myself into one person, while forgetting all the friends that had gotten me through some of life's toughest moments. That time spent with him I will never get back.

Something else I learned-there is NOTHING like family. I put my family aside and basically put everything else before it. That was a huge mistake. Now that I'm away from my family, I miss them like none other. I am actually looking forward to the day when I'm back home in bed, awake (and annoyed!) before 8 am because of my brother's loudness. I can't wait to be back to doing laundry and cleaning my bathroom and vacuuming on Saturdays. That's the life I love. Nothing else matters when you're with family.

Now we know all these things. So we (my friend and I) decided that since we can't change what happened in high school, we can make sure we won't feel the same way about college. I'm not saying I won't have a boyfriend at all (though who knows-I may not). I'm merely saying that I have to balance my time and energy between things that truly matter. I need to get to know more people. I need to spend time with my family. I even need to spend more time studying. Most importantly, I need to be getting to know my God. If I do those things, no matter what else happens, I won't look back at college in the same way I do high school.

Queen Latifah summed this up when she said,
"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences."

Laura (who I've been talking about) and me.

(It was Retro Day of Spirit Week, sophomore year)
(this was before we had boyfriends...those were the days!)

P.S. This is not to say that I completely regret dating. I have learned so much looking back on it and I know God's used it to teach me so many things about myself and the way I am so flippant with some of the things in my life. He used that to break me and mold me closer to the person He wants me to be. So, I am grateful for all of the things I've learned, I just wish I had been wiser.

Thy Will Be Done

Well...this past week I have really been learning alot. Not just from classes or friends or church or my devotions, though I've learned alot from each of those things this week. It's been from prayer (though that may be included in devotions..I just meant that it's not been directly from time in the Word).

This school year I have been praying a certain way every time a certain thing happens and God, who is good and faithful, has answered my prayers. Not after many times, but just after praying it once. But this time, I have prayed for this thing several times, and God's been answering it in different ways. I think He's telling me that I can't just ask for the easy way out every time. His goal is not for my life to be easy. His goal is my sanctification. Normally, sanctification does not come from easy things. It comes more often when we are stretched and broken. So, either another prayer is being answered, OR God is saying "not right now" to this prayer. He knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and knows what's best. What I'm praying for may not be what's best for me. I am so grateful for a sovereign God who wants what's best for me! Though it may me a tough thing that He's planning for me, it could be for my sanctification.

James 5:16 says "...the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." Or, in the King James Version, "the effectual fervent prayer". It means this-that continual prayer for something can be answered mightily. It has been every other time this type of thing has happened. But this time I have been earnestly praying for this thing, and seen no results. That doesn't mean I think God hasn't heard me, but like I said before, either another prayer is being answered (though it's too soon to tell with that) or God is saying No and has better plans for me. It's tough to know that exactly what I've been trying to avoid may happen again. But it's so very comforting to know that the Maker of the universe has a plan for me, and it's what is best.

Last night I decided to just completely give it over to the Lord and put it in His hands. Now I can stop worrying about it. I had gone to bed and was not able to sleep. Then I remembered this handy little thing  that I wisely brought with me to college-my prayer journal. I completely laid it all out before God, and realized that He knows what I need and all I know is what I want. I realized that I needed to be praying differently-not telling God what I'd like Him to do, but telling Him everything and saying "Thy will be done." I realized that it might be best for me that He answered me with a "no". And if that's the case, then that is what I want. I just continually prayed for His will to be done and that He would be glorified in this situation. And let me tell you-I feel multitudes better about it. I no longer need to worry about it but can completely trust in His goodness and His faithfulness.

Moral of the story:Don't pray for what you want only, but that God's will will be done and that He will glorify Himself through you. I learned that it is okay to tell Him what you want, you just need to accept that He might not give it to you. Also-journaling prayers is something that I want to start back up-such a good way to think through everything you are saying to our sovereign Lord.

Those are my thoughts. Sorry it's completely rambling, my thoughts are just everywhere! Have a good day :)

Walking on Sunshine

Mmm. I LOVE the sun! It's beautiful.
I really enjoy "spring forward". It's a bummer to lose the sleep, but other than that, it's amazing! I love coming out of dinner at night when it's still light out. I am also really liking this sunshine. I knew So Cal would be amazing! Yesterday my friends and I went for a drive in between a couple classes, and the digital thermometer at one of the banks we drove past said that it was 90 degrees. It's AMAZING. Though I would not prefer to have that every day just yet, once in a while, it's nice. The rest of the week has been/will be in the lower 70s. It's nice to be able to wear flip flops comfortably again (I never really stopped wearing them for winter) and skirts to class! I know, when I was at Victory I was like I'll never wear skirts to school once I graduate. And today I did. And I liked it. So don't speak too soon, because I really liked doing it! You just never know!

This week has been a typical "first week after a nice break" week. But God is good. It's been so sunshiney that even though everyone is aching to be out of classes, the general mood in classes is brighter. I honestly have enjoyed my classes this week more than normal. Though I do stare longingly out the windows in anticipation of the next time I will be in it! I am really excited for all the beach days ahead and the afternoons spent (possibly) down by the pool. I am grateful that this semester is less stressful than last, because I can take time to soak up some rays from time to time.

Since I'm having summer fever right now I thought I'd post a few pics from previous summers :)

In Maine, summer after freshman year

(l-r)Laurie, Molly, Shelby, and Jamie

Me and my bestest when she visited me in Maine

Sammi and Laurie

Summer nights bring out the craziness!

Laura, Lindsay, and Laurie

I must go and finish a paper now. I just could resist talking about the weather!

3 Layer Mint Brownies and Free Pinkberry Yogurt...Life's GOOD

Well, the last few days have been quite eventful. Life is just full when you stay with a family of 9 people, making it 10. I LOVE it. This family is amazing and I feel like I am one of them! Wednesday was our homework/Starbucks/tacos/baseball game/relaxing day. It consisted of...well, everything I just mentioned. Wednesday night we spent several hours skyping some friends we've missed a TON. Yesterday afternoon Courtney and I babysat these kids that she watches every Thursday afternoon, but this time they came to her house. We played and watched Cinderella (with Brandy and Whitney Houston) and baked all afternoon. We made these amazing brownies. They were three layers and were pretty easy to make, just time consuming. The bottom layer is normal brownies-you make them the same as always. Then we made a frosting for the second layer, and put peppermint extract and green food coloring in it. The top layer was a mixture of melted butter and chocolate chips. Everything was chilled together (each time you add a layer, it gets refrigerated). We cut the rich brownies into bite-sized pieces and brought them to her Bible study, Generations. It was a potluck and she had signed up to bring dessert. The brownies were a hit! I also had a small piece of red velvet cake (my absolute favorite) that night.

Today was another homework day. I spent some time reading for Intro to Music and Art. I also worked on some summaries for my New Testament Survey class. We had a yummy dinner and while we ate Mrs. Brooks said that Pinkberry (a frozen yogurt place in the mall) was giving out free frozen yogurt. All ten of us hopped in their eleven passenger van and went to the mall. They gave out 3 oz. samples of their newest flavor, mango. Though I dislike real mangos, this yogurt was delicious. Then we walked around the mall for a little while. We went into the puppy store and those dogs are just precious! There was a baby Australian Shepherd and it just made me melt! At my mom's house one of our dogs is an Australian Shepherd and she is an extremely sweet and loyal dog.

One of the books I have to read for my Music and Art class is called O Worship the King. It's by Joni Eareckson Tada, John MacArthur, and Robert and Bobbie Wolgemuth. This book is really neat. There are 12 hymns in it, and each one has its own chapter. At the beginning of the chapter the lyrics to the hymn are printed. Then each author writes a little bit about the background of the hymn or a time that the hymn was really meaningful to them. It is one of those things that really helps you learn to think about what you are singing. So often I get distracted and do not concentrate on the words I am singing. This is not worship-God would prefer me to not sing at all. This book has helped me with that. I've learned about just what happened before Horatio Spafford sat down and penned "It Is Well With My Soul". That story is quite interesting. It is a great testimony that Spafford could say those words so soon after all of the suffering that he endured. It's thought-provoking and I am thoroughly enjoying reading this book.

These are some of my good friends! The one on the far right is Courtney, who I've been staying with. On the far left is Richard, then Nick, then Lindsay, then me. I mentioned skyping some of our friends-well Courtney and I have skyped all of the others in this picture multiple times, so I thought this pic was appropriate. In case you can't tell, it's right outside of It's a Small World, a ride that caused much debate. In the end, the girls won and we rode it :)

Bye now!

Life Lately

Wow! It's been a while since I've written. I haven't had much to say, so I've kept my mouth shut (..fingers still?). Anyways, I am working on something right now but that is taking some time so I will just fill you in on my life as it's been lately.

First, my relationship with God is really being strengthened. I am learning to rely on Him more and more all the time. He's been growing me and it's not always the most enjoyable thing but the end result is good. My RA made a point that resonates for me. She was talking about how our sanctification is compared to the refining of gold in the Bible. To be refined, gold is put in the fire and burns until the end result is pleasing. So while God refines us, it burns. It's painful, but in the end, we're made more like Christ. And that's amazing.

Second, since my last blog, it's been times of many ups and downs. There were a few stressful nights in that time period and I was really discouraged and missing my family. While I was doing my fafsa (ugh), I kept making stupid mistakes and had to call my dad at least eight different times. I made a huge mistake on something that was fixable, thankfully. I just learned to really appreciate how patient my dad is and how much he cares for me and is willing to help me out, even when I do dumb things. I have also had some amazing times with my friends, such as going to Downtown Disney and then my roommate's house for her birthday. The next weekend I went to Disneyland with some amazing friends and had the time of my life! College life is full of trials but it's also full of fun. It's just full.

Well that's what the past few weeks have looked like. Now I'm on spring break, and let me tell you, it's been quite interesting! I am staying with my friend Courtney Brooks and her family. It's been so fun! There are seven kids in the family, plus her two parents. With me here, there are ten of us. It sure can be crazy at times, but I am immensely enjoying it!

The first night was Friday night. We (Courtney and I) went to Walmart with her brother and two of our friends. That was a fun experience. It was at that time that Courtney and I decided to go to Walmart every day of spring break (so far, so good!). Sounds like a random thing to do, and sounds like we're kind of strange. Well, we are. But we have also come up with good reasons to go everyday anyway. Saturday was a day spent scheming, but I can't say what it's for yet. Sunday we went to church, and instead of going to my own church, Placerita Baptist Church, I went with her family to Grace Community Church.

Yesterday (Monday) was quite an interesting day. We planned to get up and do homework in the morning, then head over to the library at school in the afternoon. There were some things we needed to get  done there that we couldn't do here at her house. That did not go as planned. A whole series of events unfolded that we did not expect. The library was open from 2 until 6, and we hoped to take advantage of every minute we could. But God had other plans. First, around two her mom came home from the grocery store so people were helping unload and put away groceries. During this time, somehow a bowl of leftover tomato soup dropped off of the top shelf and hit something else in the fridge, and splashed EVERYWHERE. It was all over Courtney (her face, her shirt, her jeans, her hair), all over the food, in the drawers, on the doors, on the light in the fridge, not to mention the floor...I mean everywhere! Then the process of cleaning the refrigerator began. We took everything out, wiped everything down, then used cleaner on the whole inside of the fridge, washed (with soap and hot water) all of the shelves, wiped down the food, took the plastic thing off of the lights and cleaned off the baked-in tomato soup, and then put everything back together. It was a long process. Then we made (homemade) macaroni and cheese, which was quite good. Around 4:50, we left to go to the dorms to get a few things that I needed and then we were going to go to the library. We got to my room and realized I forgot my key, so that didn't end up going as planned. We got to the library around 5 and had to leave at 5:30 to come back for dinner. Obviously, the day did not go as planned. It was a sanctifying experience. It was very interesting and entertaining. God reminded me that my plans aren't always the best.

Today was a really exciting day. Courtney and I were planning a trip to downtown LA. We were going to get to her grandma's house around 9, and then she would drive us downtown to shop. Well...this morning at about 7:35 Courtney woke me up and told me we would need to leave a half hour earlier than we had anticipated. It was a busy time of rushing around getting ready and eating and trying to be out the door by 8. We left at about ten after, and didn't know we had to change freeways, but called her mom at just the right time (God is so good) and were able to do it. We arrived at her grandparents house and left a few minutes later. We got to downtown LA after sitting in a bit of traffic, and it was definitely worth the stress of the morning and the wait through traffic. Specifically, we were in The Alley, a place where there are many shops..some with cheap things, some with more expensive things. We looked around and found some great deals (I got a really cute ring that only cost a dollar). It was fun just taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of a place like that. After hours of shopping, we went to this little diner called The Pantry. It's owned by the former mayor of LA, and has been around for almost 90 years. We got this amazing soup, cole slaw and bread meal. The bread was a huge amount of sour dough that was so yummy. Food that amazing is just not common. Overall, it was a very interesting day. I enjoyed all of the things I experienced today, including getting to know Courtney's grandma.

Just a side note...I love Courtney's family. I have met them all multiple times. Some I'd seen more than others, but I still knew who they all were. But now I know them so much better, and it's been fun sitting with them at the table or in the living room just talking. They include me in everything and even explain all of the inside jokes their family has. It's been great getting to know them!

Okay I think I have written enough to make up for all my lost time. So now I will go. Hope this wasn't too long or boring for you. Remember Psalm 19:14, one of my favorites verses. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, Oh Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."

Happy Valentine's Day!

I just want to start off saying...I love Valentine's Day! I think it's a day that is meant to take time to think about love and those whom you love. But I can't stand this "Single's Awareness Day (SAD)" stuff. Just because you don't have a significant other does not mean that you have to be sad on this day! Instead, just enjoy it, and be grateful you do not have to stress about finding a gift and making a card or whatever. Less pressure! It's my first Valentine's Day as a single girl in a while. It has definitely been the least stressful! Plus, my mom sent me cute Valentine's Day socks...which is one of my favorite parts about the day.

This is a day when people can become discontent with their situation. That is the fault of the person...if you are unhappy, try to think about some of the benefits! This is not a day to be "SAD". I think that the dating chapels we had this week were good, but in some people it stirred up discontentment, especially since it was the week before Valentine's Day. Discontentment is a way of telling God that He has not done enough for us and that He has not given us enough. Philippians 4:11 says "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in." Most of you probably know where Paul was when he wrote Philippians-he was in jail! Now if he can be in jail and say that he's content, then we can be content too. God really has blessed us all so much. My freshman year of high school my friend Jenae did something that really stuck out to me. I still remember it vividly. In science class, I saw her writing down a list of things, and asked what she was doing. She said she was having a hard day, so she was counting her blessings. That spoke volumes to me! It is a great idea, really. When we struggle with discontentment or just unhappiness, we should remember that God has blessed us SO much, and try to think of every blessing that we can!

Well those are just my thoughts on Valentine's Day. Honestly, I wondered how I would feel today. As I think I said before, it's my first Valentines Day as a single girl in a few years. Though I am over my ex boyfriend, I wondered if today would bring back too many memories and make me miss him. But I realized-I have such a full and blessed life! There is no time for me to be unhappy without him, even if I was struggling with that. So don't think that I am just saying this because I have not known what it was like to have a Valentine. Because I have. And at the time it was fun. But this is better, because I know that I do not have to have someone in my life to be content, or even to enjoy today. I hope that this has been an encouragement to someone! I have to finish getting ready to go to church, but I hope you all have a great day. And remember you're blessed!

Sisters are Forever Friends

This is Holly and I at church...we always take random pics!

All of us girls with my Mom at our grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary/renewal of vows

Abby loves me :)

Sarah, Holly and I when they were in town for my graduation
We are an attractive bunch...

We thoroughly enjoyed our ponchos!

Pretty self-explanitory...Holly pretending to not love the love coming from Ab and I

Oldest to youngest. Darkest to lightest.

We all wore gray...grayt minds think alike. (wow, corny)

Sarah and me..you can guess what night this was

Lately I have been thinking about my sisters alot. They really are the best people I have in my life. No one else can be so encouraging yet so painfully honest at the same time as a sister. We have all gone through so much together, and are always there when we really need it. In the midst of broken bones, sleepless nights, stressing over college, boy problems, family problems, friend problems, broken hearts, and everything else..we have always been together. I know that I will always have their backs, and they will always have mine. I completely trust all of them completely. We are all so different, yet fit together so well. Sarah, Holly, and Abby are some of the best reminders of the love that God has poured out on me.

There are so many memories I have with those girls. I remember when we were really young, we would play "Christmas" with our dolls-we put them to bed, then wrapped presents and put little toys into their "stockings". I remember how much Holly loved her "peoples". Holly and Abby used to love their blanket game. Sarah, when told not to be such a tattle-tale, took a picture of me climbing on something instead of telling on me. Camping trips, beach days, plane rides, movie nights, and so many more things were made better because of those girls. One of my greatest childhood memories-the mud bath that Sarah, Holly and I had one morning. Baking with Abby-ususally unsuccessful when we are together. Taking crazy pictures with Holly. Fake laughing so outrageously with Sarah that we would laugh, deep belly laugh, at. Trips to get ice cream after a breakup. Hugs and tissues shared when nursing a broken heart. Defending each other and calling other people stupid for messing with one of us. Making fun of those losers who hurt one of us. Being embarrassed when Dad would try to be funny. Telling Mom to "stand up straight" (which doesn't mean quite what one might think it means). Being told by Mom to stand up straight, along with her hands correcting our posture. So many more good times together in the past, and many more to come.

As you can tell I love these girls so much and appreciate them more and more each day. Ecclesiates 4:12 "...A cord of three strands is not easily torn apart". We are lucky because there are not just three of us, but four. Try breaking that apart ;)

All this to say...I love you girls. Thank you for being my best friends. Thanks for all the laughs, and even the tears. Thanks for the hugs when I had a really tough time, and for understanding that I lived in California even though I loved you and missed you guys every day. I miss you guys so much now while I'm in college, and not a day goes by where I am not constantly thinking and talking about you.

When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?

-Pam Brown

Random Thoughts

Hey there! I am the kind of person who has alot going on in my head, and I feel like getting it all out somewhere would be really nice. I realized that blogging would be a good way to do this, so I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!

Well I'm back here at TMC for my second semester! It has already had some ups and downs, and has been a huge growing time for me. Before classes started, we had the Truth and Life Conference, and it was all about the church. It was a blessing to hear those messages and I realized there were so many things that I had not ever considered when it comes to "the church". Chapels last week were especially convicting and encouraging, and I felt so blessed by them. My classes this semester seem to be easier than last semester, except for Foundations of Science. But my work load is definitely smaller, which is nice.

This past weekend has been a great one! Our brother/sister wings had another fun event. This time, we went to Diddy Riese in LA. In case you do not know what this goodness consists of, it is a place where you can build your own ice cream sandwich. You choose which types of cookies and the flavor of ice cream you want. All of this is just for 1.5o. It was a fun time of getting to know the other people in the east side of CDub better. After we got back to school, many of us played a big game of catch phrase, which is always fun. Then yesterday (Saturday) was a nice relaxing day. A couple of my friends and I went to our friend's intramural soccer game and then went to brunch. Later on in the day, some other friends and I went to In n Out, which is always a fun experience. After dinner, Alyssa cut my hair. It was the first time she had cut hair before, but I trusted her and it turned out great! My hair looks and feels so much healthier. Then later I went into her room (which is like my second room) and one of the senior girls on her wing was in there, also. It was great to hear her perspective on life and how she had grown and changed throughout her four years here at TMC. Also, it was great to just hear her talk and encourage us to soak up our time here, because it does not last forever. That conversation was really thought-provoking, and I am glad I was a part of it.

Well I have piles of homework to do but I'll explain the picture at the top. It is of my best friend Samantha and I our senior year in Bible class. We have taken some random pictures but this one is definitely one of the most random. Good night all!