In The Morning When I Rise

"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus...
...when I am alone, give me Jesus...
...when I come to die, give me Jesus..."
(I couldn't find the author)
Beautiful words. I wish I consistently prayed this. I wish that this would be what I truly longed for each day.

Catching Up

It’s been forever since I have posted anything in this blog. I can offer no excuse for my unexpected hiatus except that I just had a lot going on and did not have the words. Which is laaaame, because I’m usually pretty busy and I can still find time to write.

Last semester was full of changes-some good, some bad; some huge, some subtle; some unexpected and some long-time coming. One of the trials of this semester was that my only living grandfather that I know, my step-dad’s dad, passed away in October. He battled for years with Parkinson’s disease. That disease is brutal, and through the years it was tough watching someone you love so much deteriorating so quickly and completely. I was caught unawares when, one Tuesday afternoon, I realized I had a voicemail. I listened to it, and from my mom’s tone and undetailed message, I expected the worst-and received it. Another thing that added to the pain of this situation was that I was stuck in Santa Clarita while the rest of my family went to be together to mourn the loss of this great patriarch. Everyone (from all over the US and from Hungary) in my family was there, except for my cousin Dan who was studying in Spain for the semester and myself. It was hard to be stuck there where NOTHING happened, especially when my closest friend had gone home for the weekend. Even though I couldn’t see why He kept me there that weekend, I needed to learn to trust God’s plan.

There were many other difficult situations that arose last semester. Friends suffering, tons of homework, relationships changing, money problems, class scheduling issues, broken camera, break up drama (thankfully, not mine), seeing legalism in action in completely appalling ways, rocky friendships, faulty computer that made it extremely hard to do homework (definitely a source of sanctification, and now fixed!) homesickness-the list could go on. You name it, I saw it. These things and others amounted to much stress and loss of sleep, both unnecessarily. If I was trusting in the sovereign God of the universe who has His glory and my good in mind, then these things would not have caused so much worry. Nahum 1:7 says, “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him.” Instead of worrying, which accomplishes nothing, I needed to take my eyes off of myself and turn to Him who is my stronghold.

There were some great things that God did in my life also. He blessed me immeasurably, and I know that it is important to “count my blessings” rather than to focus on the negatives.

-As I have previously mentioned, I was given the opportunity to serve God in Awana. My little group consisted of five precious 2^nd graders and a sweet co-leader, as well as myself. I cannot begin to express how much this ministry has blessed me. Those kids are amazing and I find myself praying for them often. I love them!

-Also, every Wednesday night I ate dinner with my friend Katie before we both went to Awana. That was always something I looked forward to, because though we previously knew each other, it wasn’t until this semester through several classes we had together and Awana that we really got to know each other. She has been such an encouragement and is a great example to me.

-I became a member at my church, Placerita Baptist Church. It is awesome to be a part of such an amazing church where the Gospel is proclaimed through the faithful teaching of many men. PBC has been greatly used by God to increase my knowledge of, faith in, and love for Himself and His word.

-My wing, which is a big assortment of girls with many different interests. You can get a small glimpse of God’s creativity through the variety of ladies that live in the Middle East wing of (the best dorm) Cdub. It is so cool to think about the fact that He specifically placed each girl on that wing. Though it is made up of girls with diverse interests, we all have the most important thing in common-a love for the Creator of the entire universe. Our sweet RA is so caring and such a blessing to all of us, as well as the three other SLS members on our wing.

-Several different people who have come into my life this semester have been awesome. The friends I’ve made have been such a huge blessing and encouragement to me. God has also strengthened some existing friendships. Some people who I barely knew last year became integral parts of my life. It is so interesting to see just how different each semester is.

-Foundation, my college group, has been a huge blessing. We studied Ecclesiastes these past few months. That book is one of my favorites, and I still almost daily remember things I learned from it. This book, though always enjoyable, was something of a mystery to me. God’s word really is living and powerful-things that Solomon struggled with thousands of years ago and wrote about are things that we all still struggle with. As he said many times in that book, “there is nothing new under the sun.” The men who taught really made an effort to study the book and lay it out for us so that we could understand it and I know it changed my life.

-My classes were awesome. My major is Liberal Studies-teacher education. The teacher ed classes I took were completely different than I thought. Some of the gen eds were, too. Who would have known that I would end up having to take a PE (ok so it was Elementary PE Techniques & Components, where we learned how to teach and manage a physical education class, and didn’t have to actually run the mile and play dodgeball) class in college? Not I! But these classes were so practical, and often were fun. If you had asked me six months ago what the class Language and Language Acquisition was about, I would have had no idea. Turns out, it is a fun class where I learned to have a different perspective about English language learners, and also learned how to be able to teach them. In high school, biology was a thorn in my flesh. But Bio with Dr. Francis really changed the way I look at God’s creation. It quickly became one of my favorite classes. Child & Adolescent Development sounds like a dull and somewhat unnecessary class, but it was quite the opposite. Not only did I learn about the social, emotional, physical, and psychological development of infants, toddlers, early-age children, middle-age children, and adolescents, but I learned many practical things. These things could be used in the classroom but also in my family. Also, we were required to read a couple parenting books-not what every twenty-year-old student working towards a Liberal Studies degree expects. But these books were so good! They really caused us to examine ourselves and showed us changes that needed to be made inwardly.

-Outreach Week was awesome. I went to Bear Valley Church in Tehachapi, California. This was a time of great fun and lots of serving. We served mostly with elderly people, doing yardwork and housework, and with the youth groups-both junior high and high school. One of the nights I had the chance to give a short testimony of what God has done in my life. I met some awesome people and grew closer to people who I knew but not very well.

-Also a blessing was my roommate. She and I had some amazing conversations. It is nice to be able to talk out problems with a like-minded friend and know that everything I told her would be safely confined to our four walls.

-Elizabeth Elliot. She has written some very good books, and seriously-God has used them in huge ways in my life. I read both Passion and Purity and Keep a Quiet Heart, and honestly it felt like she was discipling me. It seemed that so many of the things that she wrote applied specifically to things that I was dealing with or sins I wasn’t even aware of in my life that needed to be mortified. (I bought another book of hers on Amazon earlier this week and am very excited to read that one too!) I underlined many things or wrote them down on 3x5 cards and placed them in various parts of my room or put them somewhere on my facebook…she seriously has a way with words and anyone, no matter their gender, can be encouraged by her writing.

-My mom came out to California for Thanksgiving, and we spent the holiday and days surrounding it at her mom’s home in Orange County. It was exciting for my mom, who lives in Maine, to be able to come out and see my school and meet some of my friends. We were able to spend a day together in Santa Clarita, and since it was a Sunday, she was able to visit my church with me. It was so fun to spend time with her and with my grandma, who is just as fun-loving as my mom and I are.

-As I may have mentioned previously, at the beginning of the semester, some of my friends and I had the opportunity to spend part of a weekend camping in beautiful Carpinteria. Spending two days at the ocean and a cute little seaside town was a great kick-off to the semester.

-For a large portion of the semester I was reading Psalms and seeing many, many attributes of God. I saw repeatedly that He is forgiving, worthy of praise, the means of my salvation, a deliverer and fortress, just, Redeemer, angry, powerful, and so many more things. If you ever want to get to know Him more, I would recommend reading Psalms and writing down what you see and where you saw it. Each time it said “God is [blank]” I wrote it down. I got excited and began to be more inclusive (and somewhat inventive in my wording) and wrote things like He “will not condemn those who take refuge in Him” (34:22), He is “One to place our hope in” (39:7), and even began to include things like “His power is great” (66:3), even though it strayed from my original plan a bit. This was such an encouragement to me, and it was awesome to see what God says about Himself. Seriously-do that! It doesn’t have to be from the Psalms, but that is a good place to start.

Again, I could keep going. But this is already incredibly long. [If you read this the whole way through, you get a gold star!] But I think you get the point-last semester was probably not unlike yours in that there were both good things and not so good things, both used by God to draw you closer to Him. I have once again seen that God is good and fulfills all of His promises. He is a faithful Mentor and Discipler and showed me countless times that Philippians 1:6 is true-“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ.”

Here are some pictures (in no particular order) that were taken throughout the semester. As I briefly mentioned previously, my camera broke in Carpinteria, so I didn’t take many this semester. So many of these have been borrowed from friends! Enjoy J

This was the first [and last time] that the entire Treadwell (slash Attorri slash Bannister) family, including our newest addition, Griffin, was together. Everyone came to Maine in June, and now I’m more grateful more than ever that we all were together last summer.

These pictures were taken the weekend we went camping in Carpinteria..notice the beauty of beach sunsets.

 Lindsay and I at a soccer game…this girl and I did everything together! So thankful to be able to grow closer to the Lord with a childhood friend.

TMC hosted a free concert for Christian rap artist, Shai Linne (and his wife, who was a student here last year). Though I am not a huge fan of that genre, I was greatly blessed by his lyrics-check them out!

Lauren is one of my new friends, someone I actually met over the summer. She is so sweet!!

The day before my birthday, the three of us spent a [cold] day in beautiful Santa Monica. First stop-TJ Maxx to buy more weather-appropriate clothes for the day! It was not at all what we had expected, but ended up being quite fun.

This is my friend Abby and I at my semi-surprise birthday party thrown by Lindsay and Courtney. There are so many good things I can say about this girl, but it all comes down to this-she loves God. A lot. She is such an encouragement to me and we find so many random things we have in common. God blessed me hugely from her!

These girls are such a sweet and fun addition to my group in Awana. They love taking pics on my phone.

Mid-semester, we realized that our group of friends had not spent much time together, so one night Courtney and I had this great idea-an apple party. We thought of it and planned it and even made invitations for it all in one night. That Friday night, we had a great time of apples to apples, apple crisp, apple cider, and bobbing for apples. Random? Yes. A blast? Yes!!

My roommate and I realized we needed more pictures together, and had a blast taking them. I love her!

Life Abundant

John 10:10-"...I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

Today is one of those days where I am just so excited to be alive. God has poured out His blessings on me again and again. As the verse in John says, Christ came to give us abundant life. Today has reminded me of this. It's like at every possible turn, there have been blessings.

Church this morning was amazing. Pastor Scott preached out of Romans 12:1 (which is, "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God. which is your spiritual service of worship.") , and one of the things he talked about was the phrase "Therefore I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God..." Then he asked us a question to get us thinking-what are the mercies of God? He answered his question by saying, "The mercies of God are the blessings of salvation that are ours because of Christ." These blessings of salvation that we have received bring a response of gratitude that enables us to present our bodies a living and holy sacrifice. Some examples of the mercies of God are:

-The righteousness of God

-Justification by faith

-Favor/grace of God

-Redemption

-Reconciliation to God

-God's forgiveness.

There are many more, but I just thought that this would give you an idea of what they are. God really used this part of the sermon to change my thinking already.

Then I had my membership class where we talked about some things that also really encouraged me and provoked my thinking. Lunch, though, was another huge blessing. I ate with my friend Abby, and we talked a lot about what we are learning and struggling with, and it is such a blessing to have someone who seems to go through similar things as I do. Abby is such a sweet girl who loves the Lord passionately, and is such an encouragement to me.

Lately I have been really convicted about not serving in my church as I had been planning to all summer. I prayed this morning that somehow today I would find a place to serve, thinking that maybe it would be in youth ministry. Well, this morning went by and I did not pursue anything and no one came to me either(this is not me blaming anyone-I did not expect this to happen, and I realize it is my responsibility to ask about it, and I failed), so in my flesh, I forgot about it. Then tonight, after another great sermon, we had our normal Body Life time (in case you do not know what this is, it is about twenty or so minutes where people share prayer requests or answers to prayer, and others in the congregation pray for them. We also have a handout given before the service with other prayer requests printed on it, and we pray for some of those as well). Pastor Steve talked about how Awana had a need in the Sparks ministry, and said to talk to the lady in charge after the service if we were willing to help. Of course, I did! I am so excited to be working in a ministry with 80 K-2nd graders, as well as many leaders. It was then that I remembered the prayer I had prayed this morning about finding somewhere to serve. God answered a prayer that I forgot about! I am so forgetful, even about things that I am passionate about. I have no explanation for this except that I am a wicked sinner who needs the grace of God each day. 

Hopefully you can tell, but in case you can't: my life is just so full right now! God has blessed me again and again, and I am so grateful to be His child. He really is so good to me, even though sometimes I forget this. He reminded me that life without Him is so empty and discouraging, but life in Him is life abundant. 

In closing, I would like to quote a song that is brought to mind as I think about this. 

"My heart is filled with a thousand songs proclaiming the glories of Calvary. With every breath, Lord, how I long to be like Jesus who died for me. Lord take me deeper into the glories of Calvary."

Have a great day :)

Whew! Today ends the third week of school. This past week has flown by! It was a great one! Here are some of the blessings I've had so far:
- My roomie, Sarah. We've had some fun conversations. It's nice to be able to have serious conversations and still be able to make each other laugh. One thing that's been hard is that we don't see each other as much this semester as we did last year, especially last semester. But looking back, we still make the most of the time we do have.
- My math test on Monday was really easy and I did well.
- Wednesday night dinner with my new friend Abby. We talked for hours and she is such an encouragement.
- Membership class at PBC started on Sunday and I know that I will get to know some awesome people.
- Signed up for Outreach Week and it sounds like it will be a great time serving the Lord...I'm so excited!
- Against my wishes, my friends are in the midst of planning a birthday celebration of some sort for me for tonight (I turn twenty on Sunday). Though I did not really want to celebrate, I am so grateful for my friends who care enough to ignore me :)
- This morning my department chapel was cancelled. Lindsay and I went to Starbucks during that time with the goal of doing homework. Two other girls in my dorm were also there, and for a while the four of us talked. It was nice to just sit and chat, even though we didn't get much work done.
- Despite my lack of studying (like I was planning to do at Starbucks), I got 100 on my biology quiz (which was super easy).
- My biology class is turning out to be way better than I hoped. I've mostly always had science from a Christian worldview, so that isn't new. But it is still really nice and I really appreciate it. My professor is really interested in the subject and it gets us all interested. We study different animals each day and they are all so unique. Through the animals we study each day and the videos we sometimes watch, I have seen so much of God's creativity in this world, and it is awe-inspiring. 
- Though I was sick this week, I felt so taken care of! So many people blessed me with their kindness, and it was nice to see how much people care even about the little things like colds.
- My devotions  have been in Psalm and I am studying the character of God. There are things that are mentioned repeatedly. It is really enforcing the ideas into my head. It's nice to read over and over again that God loves righteous men and that He is a refuge, and other things like that.
- My RA from last year, Lynsi, who graduated in May, came to visit last night. It was so exciting to see her again. She is continually an encouragement to me. It was so good to just see her and hug her and laugh with her again. I never realized how much I would miss her this year, so it was good to see her.

Those are just some of the things that have gone on in the last week to really encourage me.
 

Last weekend some of my friends and I went camping in Carpenteria. My friend Courtney's family and some of their other family friends went camping all last week, and they invited some of us to go with them for the weekend. The families had been staying in their trailers for the week, and had a couple tents to spare. It was a great time, even though it was kind of short. Some of us (including myself) left Friday in the early afternoon. We got there and set up the tents and went swimming in the ocean. It was beautiful and so nice!! Not too cold at all! Then a little bit later the rest of the friends came up and soon after we ate dinner. It was so exciting to sit on the beach with some people you really love and eat dinner while watching a gorgeous sunset.

That night, we sat around the campfire and talked for a while. It included my friends from school, several of Courtney's brothers and sisters, and some of their other friends who had been their for the week. It was a really fun time and there was lots of laughing. That night we slept in tents on the beach right by Courtney's family's campsite. In case you were wondering, that was a lifelong dream fulfilled. I've always wanted to camp on the beach. It was great!

The next morning when Lindsay and I woke up to an empty tent, we went outside to see where everyone was. We found them closer to the water, and grabbed some blankets and our Bibles and headed out there. Let me tell you, there is nothing like reading your Bible on the beach in the midst of some of your closest friends. Later that day we went into the little town-Carpenteria is so quaint and so interesting! I picked up something for Holly's birthday in a few weeks. But one of the coolest parts was the antique shops. I fell in love! There is just so much history in those places. It was so cool to see what people used to have.

I liked looking at the clothes, home decorations, and dishes. There were some cool signs and books and...well I could go on. But it was pretty much all cool! I never knew that I would like looking through those shops! That was a cool thing to learn. These are two of the pictures I took. The quality may not be best because I took them with my phone, but they still capture the really cool items we found. The whole town was cool, but this was the day I started feeling sick so I went back to the campsite with some of the girls. That night we at dinner and talked with everyone for a while and then just came back. It was a great way to spend the weekend! Well that's about it for now :) Have a great day!

Well, today is the last day of my second week of my second year of college. Wow! It's already been pretty busy. This semester is going to be tough but so far it's still been really good. I officially changed to a Liberal Studies major with a Teacher Education emphasis. I had to do that when I first came to the LA area (a weekish before school started) and as a result, all of my classes but one changed. I am learning so much already that I can't believe it's only been two weeks. Many of my classes are related to each other, and it is interesting to see all the theories and studies there are about the way children develop. So far I think that my favorite class will be Child and Adolescent Development. It has already taught me sooo much! It requires a lot of work, but there is so much to learn and it's very insightful so I have enjoyed doing the homework (so far, at least).

It's been great being back on campus again, in the best dorm Cdub! I am rooming with the same awesome girl, Sarah. We are on the second floor this year, so we are adjusting to having people above us. It's been really good so far! Also, I'm really enjoying meeting all the girls on my wing. I didn't know most of them last year, and many of them I did not even know who they were. It will be fun to get to know them all better! I am also loving meeting all the freshman/transfers. They are so awesome and it has been awesome meeting so many people and seeing their love for the Lord.

God is already stretching me and teaching me things. There are things that I'm learning right now that I was not really planning on learning, because they are some hard lessons. I really have to learn to obey Him and walk by faith. Learning patience is going to be really hard, but I know that it will be really worth the hard parts, because I will come out of it more like Christ. It's not necessarily comfortable but I can finally say that I'm learning to trust His will. Even though it may be hard right now I know He is refining me and really has my best interest in mind, when I really don't. I know what I want, and He knows what I need. I'm so very thankful that I have God, who knows me so well, in control of my life and always doing what is best for me!
Right now I am going through Psalms again and studying the character of God-it is so good to look see this! Knowing His character and how He acts toward the righteous have been really helpful in my walk with Him. I am looking forward to whatever else he will teach me this year. I know how much I changed last year, and I hope that this year will be much like that!